Stop Blaming Yourself For Losing Them

Girl who keeps blaming herself for losing him
Unsplash / Adhi Taufik

Stop staying up late at night, trying to pinpoint the moment when the relationship went sour. Stop thinking about all of the ways that you could have chased them away. Stop assuming that you must have done something wrong and that is why they left you behind.

You are not too boring. You are not too quiet. You are not too fat. You are not too ugly. You are not too much.

You are more than enough.

It is not your fault you had your heart broken. You did not deserve to have your heart broken.

Stop blaming yourself for running someone out of your life when what really happened was that someone couldn’t see how beautiful you were. They couldn’t see how intelligent you were. They couldn’t see what a catch you were. They couldn’t see the real you.

Stop complaining about how everyone leaves you so you must be the problem. Stop acting like you are such a screw up. Stop telling yourself that you are unlovable, that you are undeserving of a serious relationship.

You know that is total bullshit. Deep down, you know that you did nothing wrong.

They did not leave you because you didn’t get along with their friends well enough or didn’t party enough or didn’t sleep with them often enough. Maybe those are the reasons they gave you, or the reasons that your mind keeps telling you, but that is not the truth. The truth is that you didn’t fit each other well enough. You weren’t right for each other. You weren’t meant to stay together.

You are meant to be with someone who realizes how much you have to offer. Someone who would cross the world for you. Someone who would give you their world.

Stop blaming yourself for getting your heart broken, because unless you cheated or lied or were a complete and total asshole, you were not the one at fault. Broken hearts happen to everyone. They are unavoidable. They do not mean that you are lesser. They do not mean that you are a bad boyfriend or girlfriend. They do not mean you are destined to be alone forever.

They mean that you are human. They mean that you took a chance and put yourself out there. They mean that you were brave enough to try.

Don’t blame yourself for getting your heart broken, because this isn’t the only shot you will ever have at love. You will have plenty of chances to date again in the future. There will be plenty of other people that you will fall for just as hard. People who will actually deserve the effort that you put into them. People who will actually see your worth and try their best to give you what you need from them.

Don’t blame yourself for getting your heart broken, because you are going to be okay. Your heart will mend itself. You will heal. You will love again — and next time, your heart will stay whole. TC mark

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.

You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. You just have to show up and try. Focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. You’ll figure out the rest along the way.

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