She used to believe in true love. She used to have faith that she would find her forever person. She used to be a romantic, an optimist.
She had hope that the boys she kissed would turn into her boyfriend and maybe even her husband. She thought that the hard work and love and effort she put into another person would pay off. She assumed every relationship that started off healthy would continue to stay healthy.
But she’s not a little girl anymore. She doesn’t read fairy tales or watch rom-coms and think about how the main character is so sweet — she thinks about how unrealistically he’s written. She thinks about how he would never act like that in real life.
Because in real life, people are selfish. People do what is best for themselves. People take the easy way out. People leave when things get difficult. People fall in love with other people.
Even though she used to believe in true love, and even though a part of her still desperately wants to believe that it exists, she has her doubts. So many doubts that she’s not sure if dating is worth it anymore. She keeps questioning if she’s better off alone. If she should take a break from relationships and accept that she is going to be single forever.
She thinks true love is a lie because every relationship she has ever witnessed has fallen apart at the seams. Because, from what she has seen, nothing ever lasts. Because, time and time again, she has watched two people who started out loving each other grow to resent each other, to hate each other, to break each other’s hearts.
She thinks that true love is a lie because her past fucked her up beyond repair. She is bitter. She is cynical. She is skeptical. She is pissed off at the world and at her exes and at the way life always turns out. She thinks it’s all unfair and hates that there’s nothing she can do to change that.
She thinks true love is a lie because she fallen in love before — and that happy, healthy relationship she searched her whole life for came to an end anyway. It didn’t matter how hard she tried to keep everything together. It didn’t matter how perfectly they fit each other. It didn’t matter how deeply they loved each other from the start. It still ended and there was nothing she could do about it.
She thinks true love is a lie because the right person got away from her. She doesn’t think her soulmate is still out there. She thinks she already found him and he already left.
She thinks true love is a lie because no one wants to stay in one place anymore when their options are limitless. People get bored. People get tired. People get annoyed. People leave.
She thinks that true love is a lie because, in her mind, every relationship ends. Every love fades. Every heart breaks.