In my experience as the “third”, threesomes are more enjoyable with people who aren’t a couple. Why? Well, just because you’ve talked through the details and agreed on rules and boundaries beforehand, doesn’t guarantee things will go smoothly.
You know what sucks? When your friend starts crying in the middle of the threesome because she feels like her boyfriend likes you more now. This has happened to me twice, by the way, with different couples. Even if everyone seems secure, who knows what will happen in the heat of the moment. Plus, sometimes it just sucks being the third wheel to an established couple. It’s not that fun when there are so many rules involved (e.g.- the guy is not allowed to penetrate the third, minimal contact between the third and the guy, etc.) As the third, sometimes you just end up feeling like you’re a toy to be used for their pleasure, with little thought to your own. And there are so many opportunities for someone to have their feelings hurt that it doesn’t seem worth it. And then you gotta worry about the “weirdness” between you guys later. Resentment? Developing feelings? I say fuck that, too many potential complications.
Threesomes with people who aren’t couples? It’s a lot more fun, in my experience. If you get the opportunity, I say go for it, be it MMF or MFF. I think the most fun I ever had was a FFF.
I’ve vowed to not have a threesome whilst in a relationship because I know that I couldn’t handle seeing my partner with someone else, but I’ve had several threesomes with friends that are really relaxed. I think there’s just no pressure if you’re all the “third.”
I’ve had FFF with a serious couple and with friends, both spontaneous, and it’s actually so much easier than I’d imagine MMF/MFF either way. Something about everyone all having the same parts really seems to balance out the areas where one might imagine a lot of jealousy forming otherwise.
Guy here. My old girlfriend suggested we have a friend in as a third. We had a couple good romps. After the first one, the girlfriend was raving about how hot it was to watch me fuck the other girl. But after the second time she asks me, “Do you like [third]’s boobs better than mine?”
I decided that was the end of MFF threesomes for us.
Most of the group sex I’ve participated in has been spontaneous. Though there was always attraction and sexual tension already present.
Once, one of my good friends (girl) and I were sitting at the bar one night and talking about our past sexcapades when we decided we wanted to have sex with one of our dude friends. So we called him to see if he was home, then showed up at his house 10 minutes later and proceeded to go to town.