Thought Catalog

7 Things You Should Know Before You Date An ENFP

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Pedro Ribeiro Simões
Pedro Ribeiro Simões

ENFPs are all-or-nothing people in their lives and in love. They take romantic relationships seriously, yet approach them with enthusiasm and warmth. ENFPs crave meaningful connections with their partners and are likely to leave a relationship early on if that connection is absent. This type is best matched with an INFJ or INTJ — these types offer a grounded, analytical contrast to the scattered yet creative ENFP.

1. Challenge them.

Quality conversation is the ultimate foreplay for an ENFP. This type thrives on exploring new ideas and appreciates anyone who can intelligently challenge the way they think. A good debate is a good first date. The more ideas you bring to the table, the sexier you become to an ENFP. Seduction, for this type, begins in the mind.

2. Be consistent.

ENFPs have an all-or-nothing personality, which is why they are drawn to the grounded presence of introverted, intuitive judgers. INTJs and INFJs make the best romantic matches for this type. Introspective partners are the ying to an ENFP’s over-zealous yang. Much like children, their excitable natures are comforted by meaningful, structured thought.

3. Keep an open mind.

ENFPs are weirdos. The sooner you accept this, the easier things are going to be. They have a new life plan every five minutes, may contradict themselves several times during a single conversation and quite often come to conclusions that have nothing to do at all with what you’re talking about. Take all of this in stride. ENFPs move a mile a minute but it can be a lot of fun to move along with them. Just make sure that you are open to exploring new topics, new activities and new positions. They seldom disappoint.

4. Stand your ground when it matters.

ENFPs are as stubborn as they are open-minded. They fiercely defend the values that matter to them and respect others who do the same. The way to an ENFP’s heart is to show them where your own priorities lie and to stand for those priorities unapologetically. ENFPs are not pushovers and they don’t expect their mates to be either.

5. Provide feedback.

ENFPs thrive on communication. They have a genuine investment in making their partner happy, but don’t always go about properly. For example, an overly enthusiastic ENFP may plan an elaborate surprise party for their introverted partner, who may in turn feel quite stressed by the event. In these cases it’s best to gently break it to the ENFP that you appreciate their efforts but the method may not have been the best. ENFPs are sensitive to direct criticism but value the health of their relationship. If they are doing something wrong, they want to know.

6. Make them feel free.

There is nothing an ENFP loathes more than the feeling of being tied down. While this type is often fiercely committed in a relationship, they don’t fancy putting their own personal growth on a backburner. A healthy relationship, to an ENFP, means that both parties are growing and evolving alongside each other but neither remains stagnant.

7. Get ready for some really strange whims.

You may have to gently inform your ENFP that yes, even though the documentary you just watched on penguins was way cool, you can’t go to Antarctica with them on Thursday because you have work. But sit with them while they Google the plane tickets anyway. It’s eternally the thought that will count. TC mark

Heidi Priebe explains how to manage the ups, downs and inside-outs of everyday life as an ENFP in her new book available here.

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