FOMO, the Fear of Missing out, is more than just a common fear a lot of us have, it is an insecurity we all know too well. FOMO is a poison that dictates our choices and decisions in life: the ones we make and the ones we don’t, the opportunities we settle for and the ones we miss out on. It pollutes our relationships; the one we have with others, the world in general, and most importantly, the one we have with ourselves.
He Can’t Be With Someone
Whether a man is ready or not, having the FOMO syndrome will always steer him away from commitment whether it is with you or with someone else. He’ll think to himself that there’s a possibility no matter how big or small for him to meet someone who’s better. And he is not wrong.
The thing is, there will always be someone out there who’s better than us whether it’s their personality, looks or skills. He’ll always find that woman who fits the picture he drew in his head better than you do and that’s okay.
Because there will not be someone who is like you for him in this entire world, maybe better, maybe more fitting, maybe more sensible but never you. Life is what we make out of what we have. Choice. Contentment. Confidence. After all, it’s about perspective.
He Can’t Be Alone
Jumping from one monkey bar to the other is his favorite activity. It keeps him on the go. One time he’s texting this gal, the next he’s dating that lady, hanging out with this one, sleeping with that one. He’s a very busy man!
He’s always engaged with someone but never to someone, moving from one woman to the other. He’s so terrified with the idea of devoting his time and energy to one person, and so scared to invest his feelings and hopes in someone.
He won’t tell you that he’s on a mission to find that something or someone he’s scared he will miss out on. He won’t tell you that he’s holding back to protect himself. Instead, he’ll pretend he’s doing it because something is missing. He won’t tell you how his past relationships contributed to the existence of his FOMO. He won’t admit that he doesn’t know the difference between settling and settling down, falling in love and loving someone, being weak and being vulnerable.
He’ll tell you he’s confused and doesn’t know what he wants. You’ll think he’s complicated but he’s just a drama king. And you’ll think he’s deep while in fact, he’s just shallow. He’s in two places at once. He’s with you but he’s not. He’s single but not really. He’s here and he’s there. He’s two people at the same time. He’s hot and cold, gentle and mean, fun and boring, spontaneous and calculated.
And that kind of contradiction will excite a challenge in you. And so you’ll think he’s a mystery that you want to get your hands on. You want to read into his movement and trace the dreamy look in his eyes. Slowly but surely you will come to realize that his FOMO exists.
Although he won’t tell you that he’s damaged, he’ll show it in his broken promises and empty words. Although he won’t tell you he’s selfish, you’ll see it in his behaviour and the way he treats everyone around him. He doesn’t want to miss out on certain things yet he tends to miss out on what really matters in life. Like, putting himself out there, taking risks, making mistakes, growing and learning.
Maybe we’ll always be missing out on something. Perhaps, the trick is in choosing our battles. Because at the end of the day, “the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it is green where you water it.”