1.

“We were both pretty giddy and a bit nervous. She made me wait in the bedroom while she got changed. She came out wearing bright red footie-pajamas. It broke the tension and we proceeded to have sex twice. I was nervous so I lasted longer than I do now. Then we went to Wendy’s and ordered chicken nuggets. It was a good night.”

2.

“Well, we found out about her mild LATEX ALLERGY! No joke. Also, no one told my wife to pee after sex, so we got to go to the ER on our honeymoon for a kidney infection.

Other than that, it was super duper.”

3.

“It was totally awesome.

The day was total crap. Got married in the middle of winter. Everyone in the wedding party, her parents, my parents, and most of our guests all had the stomach flu. I’m talking stuff out both ends every twenty minutes, can’t even keep down medicine, headache, backache, the whole works. It was like my insides had been invaded by a demonic poo-flinging chimp with a chestburster sidekick. I was sure I’d end up in the hospital. I didn’t though, and we made it through the ceremony with the bag in my pocket unused. God, she was beautiful.

So we were both sick and weren’t really sure if it was even going to happen. But it did, and it was awesome. It was awkward too, and that really didn’t matter to us. It didn’t need to be perfect, you know? We were happy because we had gotten through that terrible day and were going to be together for a good long time, and it was only going to get better from there.”

4.

“Our wedding night was actually pretty great. We both knew going in that there was likely to be some pain for me, but i also knew a lot of it was going to be psychological. He was awesome, the whole thing lasted a few hours. It took a few tries before we were able to get things going all the way, but we both thought it was pretty great for a first time. We definitely had fun with the foreplay. there was a hot tub in our room (vegas, baby) and there may or may not have been a wheelbarrow attempt. A few weeks later, though, we really found our groove. I think the biggest thing is just communication and having a partner who is interested in meeting your needs. If you’re both looking out for each other, then everyone ends up happy.”

5.

“We were as prepared as we probably could be. Weeks (maybe even months) before the wedding, my wife went to her OBGYN and talked about preparing for sex. She was given a series of tubes (ha) of varying size that helped stretch her out. They basically looked like cheap dildos. They start out small and she would insert it like a tampon. This helped stretch her out.

We planned a simple wedding day: wedding ceremony and a luncheon afterwards. We went straight to the hotel after the luncheon. We weren’t really tired at all, but we were both extremely excited. She slipped into some lingerie, and instructed me to wait on the bed. We started out by simply exploring each other….pretty normal foreplay. We decided to try our first time without any lube.

Honestly, everything was great that first time.

I was delicate with her, and she had no problems with her tightness. She loved it (even though she didn’t orgasm), and I loved it too.

We ended up having sex three times that evening, and then she woke me up at 4am to do it again.

We’ve both gotten better as we’ve better learned what pleasure the other.

But that first night was great. We have amazing memories of it.

I wouldn’t have done it another way for myself.”

6.

“It was actually pretty terrible. It hurt her a lot, I barely got the tip in before she was crying and begging me to stop… So we did. We had a bath together instead, and fell asleep holding each other.

Tried again the next night and it was a little better.

Real sex didn’t happen until night 4, and I came in about 4 minutes. She enjoyed it, but didn’t have an orgasm until about 4 months later.

Young awkward sex is bad. Being married doesn’t magically make it good.”

7.

“I was married to my high school sweetie at 19 and we were both virgins (very much her idea) and our wedding night was fucking awful. In cases of dual virgin hook ups I think there should be a coach present.”

8.

“My wife and I waited until marriage. It wasn’t at all awkward (for me). We got up to the hotel room, and our room had a jacuzzi. We were really nasty from our July wedding, and so we hopped in and were naked around each other for the first time. We cuddled in the tub for awhile, until moving to the shower to rinse off/fool around. Once we got out, we went to the bed.

The sex was… interesting. I think people tend to think that sex is going to be like porn right off the bat. We weren’t naive, and we knew it would be something to work into. We started with oral sex and foreplay and worked our way up. Plenty of lube later, I was able to ‘get it in,’ but she was tight, and I wasn’t planning on hurting her in the process. We called it quits after a bit when it got painful, finished each other off, and fell asleep cuddling (because let’s be honest, it was a LONG day).

Two days later we left for the honeymoon, and with a couple of days of stretching and such under our belt, we had some awesome sex, several times a day. Then came a terrible UTI that put a damper on that for awhile…

Moral of the story, regardless of when it happens, don’t think that the magical act of intercourse is just going to come easy. It takes time to really get to a point where both parties can physically handle it. Be willing to take it slow and laugh, don’t set goals, and just do what you can to make your partner as comfortable as possible.”

9.

“Me and my wife both waited. First time was in a hotel on the way to the honeymoon cabin. We were both really tired from the wedding and drive. We broke out the condoms… and it took a bit to figure it out. Slightly painful for her… but she ended up finishing (which I was surprised about). I didn’t finish actually… which is like the opposite of what I was expecting… and she was really upset by it. She thought she had done something wrong but I told her not to worry and that night was just about getting her used to it more than getting me off.

Honeymoon went on and we got better… and before we knew it… we were enjoying sex.

We’ve been married about 5 months and our sex life is getting really good. It’s not that the first night was bad… but man does it get better once you get used to each other and figure out what the other wants.

I’m not upset that I waited… because I like the idea of just having that one person to be intimate with. I like not having to compare her to past flings and relationships.”

10.

“For me (F), it was extremely painful. Apparently my hymen was pretty thick. It felt like trying to poke through my ear, to be honest. My husband is rather girth-y, so that didn’t help. Didn’t actually break my hymen until a week later. I cried I was so relieved.”

11.

“My wife and I divorced about 3 years after getting married, having never consummated the marriage. It was really, really weird and nothing like anything I ever expected.

We were exhausted, but that was to be expected. She has fibormyalgia and Chronic Fatigue syndrome, so I figured the odds of us having sex on that night were low. That’s fine. Then, when we did try the following day, we ran into some of the predictable problems that other posters here have: lots of pain for her, me not really being prepared to hurt her. So, we set to work with gentle stretching exercises as best we could to try and get it to work.

But then, she started to get really critical of everything I did. This was gradual. About two months in, she told me she didn’t want to try anymore for a while, because every time we were doing anything, I’d get ‘too desperate’ that it would lead to sex. The problem was, as I explained, I was sort of desperate. For moral reasons, she wasn’t open to doing any sort of head/handjobs anything like that–in either direction. She’s Catholic, but had agreed during premaritial counseling that it would be okay to have oral sex once we were married, even though it wasn’t 100% compatible with her beliefs. That went out the window in this case, because she wanted to be sure ‘we got the basics right’ before moving onto the immoral part she didn’t agree with. Fuck. Every time we try to have sex, she freaks out that I’m hurting her, and that I’m doing it wrong. It becomes nervewracking to even try, but we keep trying. Sex within our loving marriage is something we’ve both wanted all our lives.

Let’s fastforward a year. She’s positive that she’s got vaginismus, which is a pretty raw deal. I am trying to help her, but she won’t go to a doctor, because she’s embarrassed by our lack of sex and how long it’s been. Eventually, we go to a FANTASTIC doctor who is caring, smart, sex-positive, and good. She gives us a lot of hope. She also says she’s about 95% sure my wife doesn’t have vaginismus. She gives us some vaginal dilators (yep, they’re dildos. But stark Jonny Ive-designed dildos that don’t look like dicks, so as not to make my wife feel bad for having a dildo) and they graduate in size from small to about 2 inches smaller than my dick (I should add here, to be both fair and self-aggrandizing, that my dick is above average, and the lady is small. So that’s just a thing we’re going to work on.)

Then, she refuses to use the things. Says they feel cold and foreign. I suggest we just get tipsy and make out and play with them, with no commitment to firm plans of inserting them. Just get COMFORTABLE with them. Be familiar with them. She doesn’t want to. She says lately, I don’t seem to know how to kiss her anyway. I suggest that, some time when I’m not around, she just take a hand mirror and get a look at her private parts to see how they might be inserted. She says that sounds offensive, patronizing and disgusting. We continue living like roommates.

A few weeks later, we’ve been out with friends and are organically tipsy and kissing in the front room of the house. I get playful and say ‘c’mon, come get naked with me.’ I lead her to the bedroom and we start fooling around on the bed. I convince her it’s a good, fun time to try to escalate past fingers and onto one of the dilators, if she’s comfortable with giving it a try. She consents. I grab some lube and the box with the dilators in it. This is the first time she’s looked at it since we got it home. There’s a bulb-shaped lube applicator in the box, along with some diagrams and stuff. I take those out to get to the smallest dilator in the box, and she freezes. She points at the lube applicator on the bed and asks with …I mean, just terror…’What are you doing to do with that?’ and she’s just totally freaked out. I explain what it is and she starts to cry and says she doesn’t want to do this anymore.

We never did make it. She told me eventually that she never loved me, and that she thinks I never loved her, either. Now, she’s dating a fella who was my best friend until about a year ago when she decided to switch from me to him, and she’s got him all excited and ready to wait for marriage with her. Again.

I should add, and I do feel shitty about this: He bullied her into sucking him off in a matter of weeks. When he told me about that (fairly nonchalantly), that’s when we stopped being friends. Though, he swears he didn’t mean me any harm by telling me about it.

I’m divorced now, and I’ve had sex now. I abandoned the idea that I should wait and slept with a really lovely girl on our third date. It’s actually easy and fantastic. It’s actually everything I ever thought it could be.”

12.

“My wife waited, I didn’t. I had never had sex with a virgin, and sort of thought the whole bleeding thing was a rare phenomenon of sorts. The sex went well, and was good (as it always is). She also had a good time, or at least she says she did :) Unfortunately, though, the hotel bed sheet had a bad night… it looked like we had ritually killed a small Mammal or something. Luckily, it was a hotel so we just pulled it off (top sheet not the stretchy underneath one) and threw it in the corner. Never got charged extra, mission accomplished.”

13.

“It was awkward. How do you move? How fast? Ok, gotta take a breather. Slower? Where do my hands go? Am I too loud? Oh god oh god oh god this rocks.

And I’m done.”

14.

“We were both in our early 20s. When we got to the bed and breakfast we awkwardly laid on the bed after unpacking and said ‘Sooooo, what do you want to do?’ ‘I don’t know, what do you want to do?’ back and fourth 7 or 8 times. Then we kissed and she put her hands on my chest with me on top of her and told me that this was a lifelong gift she was saving to give to me and didn’t want anyone else to have it. It was the fastest five seconds of my life. We had sex seven times that night, on every surface imaginable. The bed a couple times, the jacuzzi (sorry people who rented room after us), the shower, bathroom counter, floor and in the car. We’re still married 8 years later.”

15.

“From my husband:

‘A little rough, a little dry, but we got through it like champs. And now, I make her squirt all over the bedroom regularly.'”

16.

“I was 23 and my wife was 21. It was extremely hard to wait but I would say it’s worth it. We had both talked to friends and my dad gave me some really awkward but useful advice. After the wedding we got to our suite in the hotel. We started with oral and foreplay and such. Mostly because we were a little nervous. We started and I put way to much lube on. We laughed and it wasn’t overly painful for her. I don’t even remember how long it lasted, but the night was amazing. I would say the best part about having each other as our “first”, was learning about the how-to sex together. It has been a lot of fun and very comfortable. We’ve been together now for almost 5 years.”

17.

“Both of us waited.

It was tough, took several hours to achieve full penetration (oral, massages, showers, wine, jacuzzi kept us busy) but totally worth it. Sharing the first time was really nice, can’t imagine doing it with someone I did not know well. It created such an emotional bond.

Still married years later and really glad we waited.”

18.

“It was awesome and awkward and funny and loving! We laughed and groaned and eventually came.

I don’t think my hymen fully broke that night. It hurt and I tensed up and asked/screamed for him to stop. There was lots of oral sex though.”

19.

“Horrible. Neither of us had ever had sex and didn’t really have realistic expectations. The next morning he informed me that it wasn’t very good for him and he felt maybe he loved me more ‘like a good friend’. Honeymoon over. Due to strict, religious upbringing we lasted 17 years before I had to just go.”

20.

“Started in the hot tub. Bad idea. Water is a shitty lubricant. Decided to move to the bed. As she was getting out of the hot tub she slipped and fell. Laughed it off. Got to the bed. Finally got it in. Came after one thrust.”

21.

“It was terrible. I had waited, but he had one partner before me. He had downplayed how much of a freak she was when we discussed his previous experiences. So, on my wedding night when I thought I would be able to shower, get relaxed and romantically ease into things with my new husband, he was ripping my veil off and rushing me into the sack. Less than an hour later he was trying to masturbate me with various wedding gifts (and they weren’t vibrators).

I definitely wouldn’t wait again. He turned out to have such diverse sexual tastes from myself that we were never able to get past it. After eight years, we’re divorcing.

His first experience was with a bi-sexual woman who was heavily into BDSM, so he pretty much started out at an advanced level. Once they broke up, he decided he really liked that sexual lifestyle and (as has been revealed throughout the divorce process – he’s finally being honest) thoroughly explored it through porn and self-experimentation. He’s now in a relationship with someone who loves that kind of thing. And I’m in the market for someone who can give me a little more fire and a little less pain.

Make sure you’re compatible, people!”

22.

“Wife and I waited until marriage and it was a long time. Started dating at the end of ’02, got married in the summer of ’08. It was a choice on both our parts that I do not regret for one second!

Anyway, it was not awkward for either of us, but it was very painful for me (believe it or not, I’m the guy, not the girl in this story). We were best friends and very comfortable with each other since we had known each other so long.

Anyway, we were headed in a limo to our hotel after the wedding. After some friendly chatting with the limo driver and then some champagne toasting, we made the decision to put up the privacy shield and start having some fun! We were doing some fooling around and I guess you could say that I lost my virginity there, but I really wanted to wait until we got to our hotel room for the amazing, romantic explosion that I always imagined it would be.

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

In VERY little time I knew I couldn’t really handle any more of just fooling around, and we decided to stop until we got to the hotel. Within minutes of stopping, my balls started to ache something fierce! I had heard of blue balls, but I never thought it would be like this. It felt like my nuts were slowly being crushed in a vice and this wave of pain started in my yamsack and slowly spread through my lower abdomen. My then bride, in all her wisdom, said that it might be better to just finish then and go again when we got to the hotel, but I was pretty stubborn about being in bed the first time. It was a horrible 45 minutes to get the rest of the way to our hotel.
When we got there, I was aching so bad that I was literally hobbling into the hotel. My poor wife was carrying more and bigger bags than I was where I had just one wheely bag (I had also accidently stepped on her bare toe earlier in the night dancing… she’s a champ!). The concierge looked at me funny when checking in, but I really could not have cared less at that moment.

We get up to the room (I couldn’t carry her across the threshold, much less one measly bag on wheels and another very painful bag in my pants). We immediately go at it. It’s over in about 2 minutes. Biggest, most painful load of my life. She was amazing and sympathetic and about 15 minutes later I was ready to go again and we had a much longer, funner (it’s a word!) sexy time the second time around. The next two weeks were bliss and I very much made up for my 22 years of virginity.”

23.

“Both virgins, dated in high-school, got married after college at 22, and been married for 5 years. Honestly, we didn’t have sex. I mean, yes we had sex later, just not that night. We cuddled, made out, and did things we had already done. We got completely naked (for the first time). Within a few nights, we were on track. Yes, it took time for both of us to build up some stamina but things are pretty damn solid now.

Moral of the story? You are going to have to ‘learn’ how to have good sex no matter what. Why not do so with someone you love and have a real commitment to? This is not to say that pre-marital sex is a “bad” thing. Just that people hype random shit way too much.”

24.

“I was married previously and had a daughter, but he was a virgin. He was my college sweetheart and we got back in touch a couple years after I got divorced. He was still a virgin. He wanted to wait until marriage to have sex and I was totally fine with that because that’s what he wanted.

After a year of a wonderful sexless relationship, the wedding night rolls around and I can’t wait to get me some and…his penis is upside down? Not really upside down, but pointed strait down while hard. It hurt him to have sex missionary style. I’m a pretty blunt person and stupidly said ‘I don’t think it’s supposed to do that. You might want to get that looked at.’ Poor guy. He was probably so excited to make love to his wife for the first time in his 28 years and I tell him there’s something wrong with his wiener.

He left me after 5 days. True story.”

25.

“We were too tired to do anything after the wedding. We kinda planned not to until we actually went away on our honeymoon. Even then, when we finally got to do it.. It was okay. Uncomfortable for her, and difficult for me – a bit different than we had hoped, since we waited so long.

But we slowly got better at it. We have the rest of our lives together to get better at it. She ended up getting pregnant just 4 months after we got married. We’re at 2 and (about 1/2) years now, and its infinitely better.

I’ve always heard that there’s some sort of rule that you’ll have more sex your first two years of marriage than you will the rest, but unless one of us dies, that’s a lie. We have more sex now than we ever did before. It took time and practice, but we understand it a lot more than when we first started, and its very enjoyable.

The biggest thing waiting did for us was help us set our priorities straight. We waited 7 years to get married, and it allowed us to learn a lot about each other before we got married, had sex, or moved in together. We know each other as well as we do ourselves – I can answer her questions before she finishes the sentence, and I usually know what she’s thinking, simply based on all the time we’ve spent together.

Doing what we did was difficult, but many things in life worth it are difficult.”

26.

“My wife and I waited until marriage. I was actually my wife’s first kiss.

I expected to not last very long, but quite the opposite happened. Maybe it was the shock of the moment, but it took me a solid 20 minutes of thrusting to finally orgasm. I was on top of her for so long that I injured my shoulder. She had read some books and stretched the hymen before the wedding so there wasn’t any blood.

Honestly, I’m happy that we waited until marriage. She enjoys it much more than I thought she would, and I’m happy to not have anyone competing against me in her mind.”

27.

“First thing we did? Counted the money given to us at the reception. We felt rich for like 24 hours.

Second? We tried to make a sexy time on the pile of cash (of course my idea). Didn’t really work. Got in the bath together and things were still rough. I asked her if she had lube. Nope. Guess who went to the corner store at 2:00 AM for some lube (and from my wife, “Ooh get some Pringles too!”)? After that we had successful sexy time.

BONUS: She got a UTI in Cancun a few days later while honeymooning. Good thing the meds are cheap and on every corner.”