If you loved yourself, when plans are cancelled and promises are broken, the first thought that crosses your mind would not be whether you have done something wrong or not. You would not feel inadequate and undeserving for being the way you are. You would not desperately try to change yourself, even the bits that tell your story and remind you of your own root. Every time you look into the mirror, you would not pick apart the precious body that was never born to need beautiful. Because it is so much more than that. It’s full of life and should be full of love. Love from you.
If you really loved yourself, when life happens and someone leaves you without saying goodbye, you would not waste the next two years of your life weeping, waiting, regretting, wishing they would one day come back. You would not blame yourself for a decision they have made on their own terms. You would not let them break you into pieces, not just one but every time they make you believe they are finally back only to walk away like you aren’t worth a thing. If you loved yourself, you would know it isn’t true. You would know you’re valuable and you would never sell yourself short like that.
You would not chase love to fill you in because you don’t need to be filled in — you already have all that from within you. You would understand not everyone loves you and stays with you and it’s absolutely okay. In a world of airbrushed personalities and filtered conversations, if you loved yourself, you would want to be you, living your life, embracing your authenticity and standing up for your values. And you would never be afraid to do any of that. You would choose to be you anytime even if it means struggling and not being liked by some people.
If you loved yourself, you would accept your past, your flaws and every wrong turn you take. You would give yourself the permission to be imperfect, to make mistakes, to get lost in a pair of ocean-blued eyes and live life to the fullest. If you loved yourself, you would forgive yourself. You would mute that nasty voice inside your head that can be crueller than anything ever thrown at you. You would start treating yourself kindly and gently while learning to take really good care of your body, your mind and your heart. You would stop comparing yourself to others and instead focus on your life, your growth, your own progress.
It’s always easier said than done especially when your wounds are still open and what happened the last time you misplaced your trust is still painfully fresh in your memory. But as long as you want a change in your life, even if it’s just in the form of a thought now, it’s all what it takes to embark on this journey of healing and self-love. Take your time and never give up. It might be hard at first but once it’s built up in you, it can only get better. Even at times when you feel like you’re at the dark bottom, don’t you worry. You have everything you need to pick yourself up again. Because self-love begins with you and it’s always with you wherever and whenever you need it to be. It’s the one thing no one can take away from you.
Love yourself and doors will be opened. In hard times, it will give you strength and show you the way.
Originally appeared on The Tingly Mind.