Ella Ceron

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who find this song absurdly catchy, and liars.

“Does that mean you only date other people with tattoos?”

If you go out to dinner, your parents will probably pay. (But if you’re doing alright financially, you should pay. It’ll feel really good to treat the people who changed your diapers and put up with that whole teenager phase.)

Now, here’s the thing—you can’t just outright give your scrappy 20-something a job with their dream employer. They will want to earn it (as well they should).

Listen, if you’re not gonna be a nun or something, you might as well laugh.

We couldn’t let everything fall to fate, and hope that infatuation alone would keep us afloat. I would have to learn how to be patient, and there would be things about me you’d find less than wonderful, too.

You want to know how you earn food? You breathe. You live. You deserve calories just by virtue of the fact that you exist. Not for any other reason.

You share cabs and don’t ask them to split the difference, but they make a point to pay you back anyway.

Any orange cat not named Crookshanks is missing out on a prime naming opportunity, in your opinion.

22. Take a friend’s dog for a walk. Who said working out had to be heart-poundingly difficult?

21. When somebody compares your looks to another person, that other person always has glasses—no matter how little they actually look like you.

Deep-fry cauliflower, slather in barbecue sauce. It’s so simplistic, but so, so good.

Live in a city where the unsaid motto reads, “you don’t work, you don’t eat,” and then back yourself into that corner.

You just have to take a great leap of faith and trust that it will.

You will lead the zombie revolution. I am terrified of you.

How important did the money end up being, did you take dreams over paychecks and struggle to follow your passion?

Cheese is the most important meal of the day. As such, the greatest of all food groups deserves respect.

You are probably the most put-together adult I’ve ever met. Can I meet you? I want to be as put together as you are. Please?