1. Offering a play-by-play of your text threads (extra points if there’s a really sweet little compliment lurking in there) to your friends, or anyone else who might listen for half a second.
2. Finding meaning in every song lyric possible, and thinking you wouldn’t mind it if they serenaded you with that the next time you saw each other.
3. Counting down the days until you see each other next. (When you’re single, the only thing you really want to see that regularly is your bed, and maybe the Netflix log-in page.)
4. Kissing. Selfies. On. Instagram.
5. Really, just kissing anywhere. Cuddling, even. (When you’re single, PDA on the morning commute is about as welcome as someone spilling hot coffee on you, but when you’re in the relationship, of course you want to kiss them goodbye.)
6. Saying “we.” When you’re single, it’s the. worst, but the minute you get coupled up, it’s like you… I mean, we get it.
7. Interjecting anecdotes not just about things “we” did together, but mentioning your new boo at every opportunity imaginable (most of the time, without even realizing you’re doing it). Their stories become your stories — but your single friends are beginning to suspect that you’re just reminding everyone that you’re now seeing someone for the sake of reminding everyone.
8. Using ‘boo’ seriously. Using ‘bae’ seriously. Actually, just using nicknames at all.
9. Dressing similarly. To be fair to the couples of the world, it usually is an accident, and you just both genuinely happen to wear jeans and white tees on the same day, but single people always think it’s a conspiracy. Everything is a conspiracy when you’re single.
10. Sharing your food with someone. It’s fine to share it with someone you’re currently making heart eye emojis at, but someone platonic steals your fry or takes a swig of your drink, and you might as well go to fisticuffs.
11. Someone actually calling you. When you’re in a relationship, of course you want to hear the other person’s voice, but when you’re single, a phone call is tantamount to a national disaster.
12. Talking for the other person when they’re standing right next to you. When you’re in a relationship, it seems second-nature because who better than you to know what they like, but your single friends are wondering why you can’t each just speak for yourselves.
13. Stuffed animals, balloons, and anything beyond the typical bouquet of flowers that just seem like an egregious display of affection if you’re not the one being gifted or giving the gift.
14. Holding hands, linking arms, or otherwise entwining your bodies as you walk down the street. Single people are going to turn it into a game of trying to plow through you and break the physical bond (though they can’t break the one in your hearts).
15. Teasing each other in public in the most play-wrestle-y way possible that always devolves into a makeout session, because like, you were just… fighting… a second… ago… (but when you’re in a relationship, this makes sense).
16. Setting your single friends up with a friend “we think would be great for you!” when all your single friends are just like, God, no, let me die alone here, I don’t want to turn into you.
17. Reminding everyone you’ve ever met how lucky you are to now how this person in your life, and how you can’t remember life without them… which, well, yeah, you can, but okay, maybe it wasn’t as good. Even your single friends have to give you that. Because sooner or later, even the single friends will be the smitten friends, too, because when we’re falling in love, we’re our worst and best selves all at once.