Transitional moments in our lives often revolve around rejection. We’re all meant to experience it at different points, some of us more often than others. The fear of rejection can put shivers down even the most confident person’s spine. I’ve experienced it both professionally and in relationships, and it always hurts. That is, the rejection itself hurts. What does, however, get easier is the way you bounce back from it and how you learn to let it change you in positive ways.
When I get rejected, I let myself feel sad for a few days. I allow myself a pity party, letting irrational thoughts flood my mind for a day or two. But then, I set them on fire. I remember that my worth is not measured by the number of rejections I’ve received. My worth does not depend on someone else’s approval.
If you’ve just been rejected, you have to remember that the person who rejected you only rejected one aspect of you. They rejected the shy girl they saw at the bar, the writer who didn’t fit their current needs, or the overqualified job candidate. They never got a chance to see all the layers that make you who you are today. They never got to see your depth, what moves you, what makes you smile, what puts tears down your face. They never saw past that one facet you presented.
You have to remember that in a world of billions, not everyone is compatible. You know what they say, you can be the yummiest peach in the world, but there’ll always be someone who just doesn’t like peaches. But there are many who do. This one rejection doesn’t define you, it doesn’t make you any less. You’re not losing out on anything because it was never meant to work out. Don’t chase after the things that aren’t for you because you’ll close yourself off to the things that’ll actually set your heart on fire.
And in the end, you know what’s worse than being rejected? Not knowing. Being the person who plays it safe, the person who’s still wondering because they never took a chance. So maybe you feel sad right now, or maybe you’re ashamed, but you have something special in the palm of your hands. You’re brave. You’re the one who tries, the one who takes risks. You’re the one who looks fear in the eye, and gives it a shot anyway. Those who don’t get rejected as much as you do may not have hurt as deeply, but they have to live with that dull pain of a lifetime of what-ifs.
Putting yourself out there is one of the hardest things to do in this world because so much value, internal and external, is placed on acceptance and success. But the only real failure is not trying. If you’re feeling sad about being rejected, you’ve done something that so many wished they had the bravery to do, and you should be proud of yourself. Damn proud.