You know you’re getting older when staying in bed all day is suddenly a guilt-ridden experience. If you are reading this and thinking, “what is she talking about,” you are probably under the age of 25. Enjoy it while it lasts. While we know it cannot be an everyday occurrence, some instances earn you the right to embody the lyrics of Bruno Mars’ “Lazy Song,” and to not put on pants from sunrise to sunset.
1. When You Are Sick
Sometimes you have to accept defeat. As much as it kills me to waste a day being sick, rest is what will make you get better, quicker. If you are taking a sick day from work, actually take it. Be sick. Stay in bed. Whine. Make your mom bring over her homemade chicken soup. Whatever will make you feel better.
2. After A One Night Stand
Usually a shit ton of alcohol is a prelude to this type of evening. The combination of sex, a new person in your bed or you in an unfamiliar one, and the killer hangover, all desperately call for a day in a bed. You’re lack of sleep will make you seem brain dead anyway, and no one wants to hang out with someone who can’t formulate coherent sentences.
3. After An Earthquake
I’ve only experienced minor earthquakes in my five years living in Los Angeles, but nonetheless, they gave me a bit of a scare. After being awoken by that disorienting shake, you don’t know if aftershocks are on the way. And to be safe, stay in bed as long as you can, to avoid post-earthquake injuries. May I also recommend that you hold in your bladder as long as possible, because a toilet seems like the worst place to be when an aftershock hits.
4. When The Weather Is Complete Shit
As an adult, a snowstorm no longer means building snowmen and catching snowflakes on your tongue. It means bundling up and then a progression of shivering to sweating and back again as you go from inside to out. It means risking your life to get to work, battling the slush and trying not to drive off the road. Stay in bed! And if you live in Los Angeles, if that rare miracle, water from the sky, ever occurs, you are more than welcome to take advantage of the sun not mocking you to wake up and stay in bed!
5. If You Are A Writer Who Can Write In Bed
I have about five minutes in me before my eyes start to close if I ever attempt to bring my laptop into my bed. But, there are some people who actually can work while in bed. I’ve seen many of Mindy Kaling’s Instagram posts of her doing just that. If you’ve got the skills like Kaling to combine comfort and productivity, go for it!
6. If You Haven’t Watched The Latest ‘Buzzed About’ Show
Just to name a few, if you haven’t watched Game of Thrones, House of Cards, Breaking Bad, or Girls, spend the day in bed binge watching these pop culture musts! You’ll prevent yourself from becoming a social pariah once you get out of bed and enter the world.
7. After You’ve Been Dumped
Give yourself one, just one, day off. The emotional turmoil of a break-up is exhausting. Permission granted to sleep it off. But tomorrow, you must emerge a new, a phoenix rising, rested and ready to charge ahead.
8. The First Day of a Vacation From Work
You could go on a day trip, horseback ride, scuba dive – cross off one of the many activities you wish you could do if you only had more time. But, you’ve also earned the right to be lazy! If you are honest with yourself and the thought of getting up is as painful as sitting in your job’s weekly status meeting, give yourself a break.