Family isn’t always about blood. If you’ve experienced a dysfunctional family, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Here are eight dark truths about having toxic family.

1. You lose every time

When you speak up about your side of the matter, you’re classified as disrespectful. When you stay silent, you’re being distant and unattached to them. It’s a battle you’re never going to win.

2. They never feel like home

They say home is always a person and a feeling rather than a place, and they’re right. When you have endured a toxic family for most of your life, you want to get as far away from them as possible. You feel more at peace when you’re alone compared to when you’re with them.

3. They don’t admit their wrongs

Don’t you just hate those people who never admit their wrongs, even if the facts are right in front of them? It isn’t just a matter of pride, but it’s that they act extremely defensive when you point out their wrongs. They play the victim every single time.

4. They were the reason for your low-self esteem growing up

The thing about family is that it keeps you grounded and encourages you to become a better person. A toxic family won’t ever do that for you. What it will do is choose to focus on your flaws and insecurities and attack you with them.

5. You always end up clashing

When you think you find it in your heart to forgive your family members and love them despite their toxicity, they prove you wrong. You always end up clashing, even when there’s nothing significant to argue about. Every single thing about them frustrates you.

6. It’s either you’re with them or against them

Toxic people can’t stand when someone has a different opinion other than their own, so when you’re against them, prepare for war. For instance, if you have a different belief system from them, you’ll end up arguing 24/7 about this.

7. They always break your heart

That’s right, family can break your heart, too. In fact, it’s one of the worst heartbreaks you can experience since you think they’re the ones who will love you unconditionally. But no—they only love you when it’s convenient and easy.

8. You’ve learned to find home in various places

You can find family within your friends, your coworkers, your significant other, and most of all, yourself. When you don’t recognize what family feels like anymore, you realize that the strongest concept of family is the people you find by choice, not by blood or heritage. That’s the kind of family that is invincible.