1. Playing the victim and the bitch in the same story. You can’t be both. You can’t switch sides when things aren’t going your way.
2. Finding fault in everyone except yourself. It’s easy to point fingers, but there are always two sides to every story, two sides to shoulder some of the blame.
3. Having a “my way or the highway” attitude. Are you 12? People make their own choices. Nothing has to be “your way” when it’s someone else’s life.
4. Following through on acts of sabotage. People fight; that’s a fact. And in moments of anger, you plan the other person’s demise. (We are all guilty of it, even if we don’t admit it.) Usually, they are just thoughts; it becomes toxic when you put the wheels of your evil plan in motion.
5. Sharing your side of the story with anyone that will listen in the hope that someone will agree with you. If you have to convince everyone that you are right; it’s simple. You aren’t.
6. Once you say that mean-spirited, below-the-belt comment; you can never take it back. Remember that!
7. If you are labeled “the bitch”, “the bully”, “the life of the party” or “the asshole” within your circle of friends, chances are you probably did something to justify your label. If you don’t like your label; change your actions.
8. If you choose to tell secrets when a relationship is falling apart; you are an asshole. That’s a fact.
9. Doing a shitty thing in the name of friendship, e.g. “I slept with ‘Simon’ to prove to you that he was cheating on you. I hope you aren’t mad at me. I did it for you, to help you see what an asshole he was being to you.” <—— This person is NOT your friend. (Note: Dramatic example to make a point.) Any friend that chooses to show you someone else’s bad behavior by taking part in it is a fucking asshole.
10. Taking credit for someone’s success. If you didn’t do the work, don’t take the credit. If you did contribute to their success, be classy and help them celebrate – don’t pretend that you single-handedly made them successful.
11. Judging people who sin differently than you. If you didn’t help put my skeletons in my closet; you don’t get to have an opinion about them.
12. If you mistake kindness for weakness or silence for acceptance; you are misguided. Those are characteristics of a successful adult. Don’t underestimate them.
13. Lastly, if you can’t admit you are wrong, or you have an “I don’t care” attitude about everything and everyone. Yes, there will always be people who agree with you, but not because they think you are correct. They agree because they know they can’t change you and it isn’t worth the energy. A “win” by disqualification isn’t much of a win now is it?
* Disclaimer: This list has been constructed to help you identify the toxic people in your life. What you do once they are identified is entirely your own. The author’s recommendation is that they be removed immediately without exception. Good luck!