1. They have their own aspirations and hobbies. Want to know what happens when only one individual in a relationship has goals and pastimes? The person who has nothing to do gets upset at the one who wants to spend a portion of their day enjoying beloved activities or focusing on passion projects, and it’s a recipe for disaster.
2. They don’t terrorize you with those dreaded questions like “Do you think that person is attractive?” or “If I was permanently disfigured in an accident, would you stay with me?” or “Can I have a bite?”
3. He/she doesn’t hold you accountable for your scandalous behavior in his/her dreams. This may sound farfetched, but you’d be shocked how much unwarranted attitude boyfriends and girlfriends can dish out because their imagination has trust issues.
4. You don’t feel anxious about asking them for something you need in the relationship, whether it be physical or emotional.
5. Every little qualm isn’t aired out to the public on social media. Even the “subtle” Facebook status that insinuates dissatisfaction is a slow relationship killer.
6. The select few who might hear about a rough patch are close friends or family, and naturally there may be minimal biases when the story is told, but there isn’t any extreme lying and you aren’t being portrayed in a bad light.
7. They don’t do the “Go to your guys/girls night and have fun, it’s fine,” thing, before proceeding to make you feel their vengeful wrath with frustratingly short text messages sent strategically far apart to drive you insane. More importantly, they don’t fancy you a psychic who should ‘ve known they’d be angry even though they gave you their verbal endorsement.
8. Speaking of the whole mind reading thing, they have no qualms with openly letting you know if an issue arises. Expressing opinions and feelings will always beat “I’m fine” when you aren’t. Even an “I don’t want to talk about it right now” is sufficient, as long as you establish your honest sentiments.
9. They don’t do that thing where an incident happens one time and for the rest of life it’s exaggerated and labeled yours. For example: Boyfriend chuckles at a Geico commercial one day. Girlfriend wasn’t amused by it. CUT TO: three weeks later, at dinner with friends. Girlfriend confidently says, “Boyfriend is SO OBSESSED with every single Geico commercial. He like dies laughing whenever one comes on!” (This is petty, but so many people do it that if your significant other doesn’t, you should know how fortunate you are.)
10. When the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on something, your disagreement doesn’t automatically turn into an unhealthy, back-and-forth yelling match or a lengthy, prideful, silent standoff. It’s beyond necessary to be able to disagree and move forward amicably.
11. If one of you is making a life altering decision, you include the other in the deliberation process because it naturally feels right to.
12. They are capable of looking in the mirror and accepting responsibility when they’re at fault. Taking accountability and acknowledging a mistake to someone you’ve done wrong can go a long way, and it eliminates any obnoxious double standards.
13. They understand that you aren’t living in a Nicholas Sparks novel or a Disney movie, but real life where animals & inanimate objects don’t happily break into song, and constantly flawless love doesn’t exist. Nicholas Sparks doesn’t write about the irritable couple that’s running late and momentarily hating each other’s existence or the guy who is annoyed that his girlfriend just told everyone he laughs hard at every Geico commercial, because it’s not even remotely accurate.
14. There are no reservations or a need to refrain from being the side of yourself that’s typically hidden in public settings. That version of you that defies all of the social norms at a scientifically, remarkably odd rate isn’t just welcome around them, but embraced.
15. They can legitimately make you laugh. Not just smile and say “that’s funny” but actually, audibly, heartily laugh. Y’know, like the way you laugh at Geico commercials.
16. There are no unfair assumptions or expectations made about one another because of what society insists a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” should be. When you think of and treat each other like human beings instead of expecting gender roles to be played, your like (or love) will have a better opportunity to flourish.