1. He can’t be ‘husband material’ if he’s afraid of, or otherwise averse to commitment. Your guy knows what he wants (commitment) and he’s dating you to see if you’re a good match, not to pass the time or find another “friend”. Even if he doesn’t see a future with you yet, it’s on his radar that that’s the whole goal of spending time together.
2. He doesn’t make you feel like his mom. You don’t have to clean up after him or tell him he has to do normal adult things like go to the dentist. Basically: you aren’t the glue holding his life together, he can do that on his own.
3. While it’s true that all relationships are sometimes work, it feels more like an after-school job than a soul-sucking 60-hour a week thing. The majority of the time, being with them is peaceful, satisfying, and fun.
4. They are playful. Life is hard enough without making it harder than it needs to be. Someone who can joke around, lighten the mood when you’re stressed out, and genuinely have fun with you is going to make your quality of life higher in the long haul.
5. He shows up when he says he will, and he’s (at least usually) on time.
6. You brag about him. There’s a subtle difference when you’re with a guy you’re not sure about — or worse, a little bit embarrassed about. You don’t want to talk to your mom or your friends about marrying him because he’s the guy who ______. When you find yourself gushing about how many great qualities they have, and how together they are, that’s a good sign.
7. He makes you feel confident. Since you’ve been with him you’ve noticed a bounce in your step. You’re less likely to let people take advantage of you and more likely to take risks because you have someone who makes you feel insanely good in your own skin.
8. His friends and family love you — which means he brags about you to them. They see how happy you make him and want to make room for you so that this great thing in their guy’s life is encouraged to stick around.
9. You feel beautiful around him.
10. You have awesome sex with him. He listens to you, pursues you, goes down on you, and vice versa.
11. He supports you in your goals, even the ones that don’t directly involve him. He doesn’t want you to live a small life so that he can feel better about himself.
12. He has hobbies and goals that have nothing to do with you. He’s too mature to be with someone that didn’t support him in these endeavors.
13. He has a place to live that doesn’t feel like a dorm room. It doesn’t need to be fancy, but it does need to feel like a place an adult could live.
14. He’s a good fighter. When you have a disagreement he wants to work together with you to make things right, and avoid the issue in the future. He doesn’t one-up you or say hurtful things just so he can “win”. He’s calm and reasoned and you two resolve problems like two people working towards the same goal.
15. He trusts you. He knows you have his best interests at heart. There’s a distinct absence of drama.
16. You can talk to him about everything: your fears and doubts, insecurities, the scary truth about how you maybe hope you get married one day, whether you want kids, etc. He is easy to talk to and likes to make things clear rather than shrouded in mystery.
17. You could call him in the middle of the night if you were in a car accident or got locked out or had to go to the ER and know he wouldn’t be annoyed to come help you. He’s your person, that’s just what you do.
18. He’s generous with his resources. No one will ever have a happy “forever” with someone who keeps score and demands exact equality every time they do a favor for you. Generosity is a quality people have when they are confident, mature, and at a happy place in their life where they feel like they are blessed with abundance — so it’s okay to not be insecure they might not get exactly what they give in return.
19. He makes you act generously as well. Because he makes you secure in his feelings for you, you don’t feel taken advantage of if you want to do random nice things for him.
20. He sticks up for you when you say anything negative about yourself.
21. You can have fun running errands with him. Even though you’re just at the grocery store, you enjoy life more with him in it. Even when it’s boring, being with him makes you happy.
22. He likes to try new things. You don’t have to be trying out a new Groupon every weekend, but he’s not so stuck in his ways that life with him will be your own version of Groundhog’s Day. He’s open-minded enough to be adventurous every once in awhile.
23. You feel lucky to be with him. He treats you well, loves you, supports you, and makes your life a pretty joyful existence most of the time. He’s exactly the kind of person you can grow with.