Liking each other so much you start spending all your time together
When you’re in the early stages of a relationship, you fantasize about being in that comfy stage when you hang out at each other’s places for days at a time and procrastinate going home for a change of clothes because you just like each other THAT much. In reality, your house becomes a hotel and suddenly there’s a person who isn’t you that you’re cleaning up after and buying food for. For the first time you begin to realize the increased obligations having another person in your life places on you.
Moving in together
You see their skidmarks, they see your period panties. So not chic.
A quickie is tossed around like it’s a really hawt thing that all sexually healthy couples love. In real life, they’re usually less than satisfying. By definition they are rushed, which means there is little to no foreplay. If you’re doing it somewhere weird the logistics and angles can be uncomfortable and hard to figure out, and the whole idea is built around men’s sexuality which heats up quickly and ends at the moment of ejaculation — which is just the tip of the iceberg of how good things can be.
Meeting their family
Meeting your love’s family seems like this magical milestone where your relationship becomes real. In perpetuity if you break up, you know their parents will ask about you and use you as a reference point for their love life and future partners. In real life, families can be very, very messy. Some parents have issues with their child become an adult and moving towards having a family of their own. Other families have a lot of internal drama and you’ll soon be on the receiving end of phone calls and Facebook messages asking you to take sides in their petty irl telenovela .
Cuddling all night
Cuddling with a new love is so exciting and romantic — until your arm falls asleep and their hot breath is all over your face. When we’re fantasizing, we forget about how annoying it can be to shift around trying to find a comfortable position, only to have your partner move a minute later because they’re trying to get comfortable too.
Having a permanent plus one
Is there a more annoying time to be single than when RSVPing to a wedding? If you don’t know anyone except for the couple it’s awkward to not have a date because you know you’ll have to make conversation with strangers all night. If you know a lot of people, you just want to prove to your family and friends that you’re not a total undateable loser. But in real life, having a date means introducing them to everyone and answering increasingly invasive questions about 😐 when 😐 you’re 😐 going 😐 to 😐 get 😐 engaged 😐.
Going on vacation together
Going on vacation with someone means spending a lot of your finite money and time off work to go somewhere and then not do exactly what you want to do to enjoy it. Some people think vacations are for adventures and some think they’re for laying on the beach with a book and not moving for a week. You have to learn to balance another person’s vacation style with your own and it’s not always a good fit.