21 Weird Things Women Say When They’re Alone Together

The Sweetest Thing

1. “When I get married my husband and I are going to bang like, all the time.”

2. “Help me write this text.”

3. “My ex had the most perfect dick in the world. Brad’s is like a pencil dick, like long and skinny and it just stabs my cervix and it is basically The Worst.”

4. “Can you tell that this boob is bigger than this one?”

5. “I’m not sure if I like him or not, but I really want someone to take me to La Brassa so…”

6. “Don’t worry about it, The Universe has better plans for you.”

7. “Do I look chunky in this pic? Which of these [selfies] should I use for OK Cupid? Will guys think I’m outdoorsy if I use the one of me on a boat? I’m not outdoorsy but I do like day drinking.”

8. “He thinks I do yoga just to make his dick hard. Jesus. Guys are so dumb.”

9. “I wanted to get strappy sandals for the summer, but not that strappy.”

10. “Is it weird that my ex told me he still jerks off to me and now I kind of want to sleep with him again? I know its gross, but that seems really hot to me.”

11. “That guy looks like he’d buy us drinks, lets go talk to him.”

12. “Do you remember when Smith shaved his head for Samantha? God, that was the most romantic thing in the history of the world.”

13. “You know when you just know you’re going to get your period in like, a few hours?”

14. “FMK: Ross, Chandler, Joey?”

15. “Oh look Andy just texted me. Thirsty much?”

16. “Amy has changed so much since she started getting serious with Noah. She’s completely lost herself… it’s so sad.”

17. “Do you ever start to stress out when you start thinking about giving birth and how your husband is going to see you like, shit yourself?”

18. “Can you help me figure out how to do a smokey eye sometime?”

19. “Do you think this outfit is slutty in a good way or slutty in a bad way?”

20. “Adam always tries to kiss me after I give him head. Do you do that? Have you ever been with a guy who likes that?”

21. “What’s a normal amount of time to spend thinking about whether Taken could really happen to me?” TC mark

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