1. They are happier
You could work your entire life to be happy and you will still never attain the level of unadulterated bliss a dog feels when you merely walk in the door. A dog’s resting emotion is happiness, there’s no effort involved.
2. They are richer
Over one million puppies in the U.S. are the primary beneficiaries in their owner’s will.
3. They are amazing athletes
Dogs possess a crazy amount of athletic prowess. Not only do they have seemingly endless energy to run up and down the stairs, they can do straight up flips to catch a ball, swim in currents and sprint as fast as 45 miles per hour.
4. In a book about humans, they still get a shout out from God
Dogs are mentioned in the Bible 14 times.
5. They calm people in a crisis
As humans, we are so often unsure of how to help people after a tragedy. Not dogs, they just lie there and give the best medicine by being supremely huggable. There are non-profits around the country that train “comfort dogs” to help people in the wake of a tragedy like the Newtown shooting or the Boston Marathon bombing. A training associate at Boston University’s Center for Psychiatric Rehabilitation explained “When we are hyper vigilant and alert the body is releasing [many different chemicals]. And when in the company of a calm animal, it elicits a relaxation response. You settle in, you’re not hyper vigilant…Also there is that unconditional love and attention and support that the animals give.”
6. They teach us to be selfless
Ozzy Osborne wrestled a coyote to save his Pomeranian.
7. They beat us in the space race
Russian pup Laika was one of the first animals to go into space, long before any humans. From stray dog to space dog, Laika died during her mission but paved the way for human space travel.
8. They are more beloved than humans
Marley and Me is the all time saddest movie ever made. Very scientific proof: I’ve never had to pull my car over sobbing after viewing any other movie but I couldn’t even see the road through my tears for Marley, a made up dog.
9. Their senses are way better than ours
A dog can identify his owner from a mile away and find the source of a sound in 1/600 of a second. It takes me, an average human, literally five minutes to figure out whether the beep I just heard came from Gmail chat, my phone, Facebook or my chat application.
10. They know how to hustle
In one study a dog did a trick and was not rewarded. When he saw his peer do a trick and get rewarded with treats he stopped doing the trick. Can we teach humans how to have this kind of self-respect?
11. They are easier to potty train
Dogs should be able to be house trained by four months, it’s normal for humans to take a few more years.
12. They can help you make friends
Just by owning a dog you will be seen by your peers as a more likeable, outgoing person. If you’re worried about being viewed as neurotic (or need a cure for Resting Bitchface Syndrome), just tell people you have a dog! No action required.
13. They improve your health
Petting a dog lowers your blood pressure. How many humans can you say that about?
14. They can do things even Navy SEALs can’t do
A dog helped us get Bin Laden! The military trains war dogs to sniff out explosives and help with missions. They can be dropped from helicopters from 25,000 feet high wearing oxygen masks, helmets and video cameras. These dogs attack enemies or do recon by exploring small spaces only they can fit into or investigate while going unnoticed. They’ve helped with the mission to kill Bin Laden and capture Saddam Hussein.
15. They’re more intelligent than your baby
Dogs have the intelligence of a toddler, understanding 150-200 words or hand signals.
16. They’re also smarter than machines
Dogs can tell by your scent if you have cancer. In studying dogs who can smell prostate cancer, scientists found that if they can replicate the experiment and train dogs to do this, it would be a more accurate method than blood testing–the current status quo.
17. They can dedicate their lives to helping someone in exchange for affection and food
As early as the 16th century dogs have been helping visually impaired people stay mobile. No human has the bandwidth to be a 24/7 guide the way a pooch can.
18. They have Plato’s approval
Most famous for tearing down the arguments of others, even Plato acknowledges that dogs seem highly intuitive and intelligent:
The trait of which I am speaking, I replied, may be also seen in the dog, and is remarkable in the animal.
Why, a dog, whenever he sees a stranger, is angry: when acquaintance, he welcomes him, although the one how never done any harm, nor the other any good. Did this never strike you as curious?
The matter never struck me before; but I quite recognize the turth of your remark.
And surely this instinct of the dog is very charming; — your dog is a true philosopher.
Why, because he distinguishes the face of a friend and of an enemy only by the criterion of knowing and not knowing. And must not an animal be a lover of learning who determines what he likes and dislikes by the test of knowledge and ignorance?
And is not the love of learning the love of wisdom, which is philosophy?
19. They are selfless
Just six hours after being adopted, a Saint Bernard in England chased an intruder away from his new families house. The home’s phone and cable lines had already been cut by the intruder, who had not been noticed by the family. Another Terrier chased would-be robbers down the street—even though she had a large knife still sticking out of her head from the attack.