1. He will change

In all likelihood, no he won’t. People transform, but they also are who they are. Often that is a good thing. If you’re with a guy who just isn’t what you’re looking for changing him to suit your mold just isn’t fair. And if you’re hoping he’ll change from an inconsiderate asshole to the boyfriend who shows up with flowers and Chinese takeout, that is very unlikely to happen.

2. I can’t do better than him

Yes actually, you can. We’re all familiar with the sitcom stereotype of overweight, unattractive husband and smoking hot wife. But have we ever seen the reverse? No. And these kind of social influencers make women believe they have to take what they can get. But in actuality, you are beautiful, you are smart, you are funny, and you deserve someone who treats you right, whether he’s a model or a janitor.

3. If I change my mind I’ll be a tease

Sometimes you think you like a guy and then you don’t. Sometimes it happens when you’ve been flirting with him for months, sometimes it happens when you’ve been dating for a while, and sometimes it happens when your shirt is already off. Changing your mind doesn’t make you a horrible person and walking away from a situation that makes you uncomfortable doesn’t make you a tease. Listen to your gut and don’t apologize for what it tells you.

4. He was just _______

Angry, tired, stressed out, dealing with a lot of shit. Of course it’s important to give people the benefit of the doubt, lord knows we all have our moments. But if someone is consistently treating you badly and making excuses, the excuses stop holding weight. He doesn’t have to completely ignore you because of family problems and he doesn’t have to yell at you because he had a bad day at work.

5. But he’s perfect

No he’s not. No one is. You shouldn’t expect him to be and you also shouldn’t pretend he is. If the person you’re with isn’t right for you, there are plenty more not perfect fish in the sea that will make you happy.