They know what they want and they go after it — and nothing is sexier than someone with goals and the drive to make those things happen. Maybe they’re not exactly where they want to be in their career yet, but they know what a career actually is and they’re actively pursuing it. Yes please.
When I was 20 I didn’t really care if a guy meant what he said, as long as he said what I wanted to hear. Now the biggest turn-on for me is a guy who can be completely honest and straightforward with me even if I don’t want to hear it. Sounds simple, but someone who can say what they mean and mean what they say is an automatic plus after a certain age.
The older you get the more you realize the amount that goes into developing certain skills and abilities so much so that you start to appreciate when others have put in the work to build on their own talents. You also start to recognize things as talents that you didn’t before, like being a good communicator or having the ability to cook more than Trader Joe’s Mac & Cheese, and other special talents that we can save for another Thought Catalog #AfterDark article ;)
Let’s be honest: for women, it’s nice to have guys who aren’t rushing us into the sack. And for men, it’s having women who are comfortable going labeless for a while. In your mid- twenties it starts becoming more & more about the big picture, and finding someone who can wait while you paint yours is an giant check off your checklist.
They’ve been through some shit, and not just the “my parents cut me off financially” type of thing — real heartbreak, loss, & hardship, the things that make you change your perspective on life and help you to see the world differently. These type of events inevitably make for deeper, more reflective people, which is alluring and extremely sexy.
In college if you asked me if I thought jealousy was a desirable quality in a mate I would have said yes because I thought that jealousy was a measurement of how much someone cared about you. Nowadays I just find it exhausting, dramatic, and completely unnecessary. Being able to act your age becomes more and more appealing the older you get because really, bar fights and drunken lover quarrels every other weekend? “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
When you’re younger you think you know everything — but somewhere around 23-24 you realize you know nothing, and thus you value a person who can teach you things you weren’t already privy to. Experience doesn’t threaten you, it endears you and makes you want to be around that person more in hopes it might rub off on you.
Much like talent, passion is something that develops over time. But in our youth, we often hide our passions out of fear of looking dorky or overzealous about things other people may not feel the same way about. Flash forward to post college years and that same nerd from your dorm floor who was always yapping about wanting to start a composting area is now an up and coming hottie environmental lawyer.
They know who they are and have a keen sense of what things they do and don’t need to work on to become more actualized human beings. But this stuff isn’t just limited to the mental and emotional sense of self-awareness. Physically being self aware your body is extremely sensual and attractive thing, ultimately leading in the most primal factors in attraction – sex appeal.