25 Drinks And What They Should Actually Be Called

1. Bloody Mary: Slutty V8

2. Champagne: Looking Incredibly Classy And Chic While Getting Shithoused

3. Andre: Looking Incredibly Classy And Chic While Getting Shithoused, Extreme Couponing Edition

4. Light Domestic Beer: My Tastes And/Or Financial Standing Have Not Evolved Since Age 19

5. Green Juice: Make Sure Everyone Sees That You’re Drinking This, And Therefore Knows You’re Healthy

6. A Trenta-Sized Iced Latte: I Need 31 Full Fluid Ounces To Contain My Basic Bitch Multitudes

7. Mimosa: It’s Brunch, I Just Finished Soul Cycle, I Deserve This

8. Barefoot Wine: Come Over To My Apartment To Sit On My IKEA Couch And Discuss Being 23

9. Cupcake Wine: Come Over To My Apartment To Sit On My IKEA Couch And Discuss Being 25

10. Whiskey Neat: Time To Prove To This Bartender That I Am Cool As Shit

11. Cosmopolitan: I Could Not Care Less What This Asshole Bartender Thinks Of Me, I Want My Delicious Pink Cocktail

12. A Cup Of Black Tea: I Read John Green Books And Curate A Tumblr

13. Red Wine: My Tastes Are Evolved And My Teeth Are Entirely Stain-Resistant

14. Caiprinha: I’m Here To Get Drunk And Grind On Some Argentinian Men To Merengue, Get Out Of My Way

15. Dirty Martini: The Thinking Person’s Way Of Getting Totally Hammered

16. Frappucino: The Milkshake You Somehow Convince Yourself Isn’t Actually A Milkshake, But An Acceptable Coffee Beverage

17. Four Loko: Reliving Your Teenage Years By Vomiting Into Your Friend’s Purse

18. IPA: For The Bro With A Master’s Degree

19. Rosé: The Official Sponsor Of Girls Who Watch Real Housewives At The Gym

20. A Tiny Cup Of Espresso: Please Ask Me About My Recent Trip To Europe

21. Mexican Bulldog: Our Friend Is Getting Married And We Are Here To Get Alcohol Poisoning

22. Mojito: I Strongly Dislike This Bartender And Want To Make His Job More Difficult

23. Coconut Water: The Jizz-Colored Beverage Of Choice For Fashion Interns With Good Eyebrows And Yoga Instructors

24. Evian: Lol, OK

25. Long Island Iced Tea: No Time To Talk, Must Get Drunk TC mark

Nothing goes better with bad dates than strong drinks. Read this.

TC Site-2

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

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