50 Toxic Things Every Girl Should Stop Romanticizing About Love, Life, And Relationships

50 Toxic Things Every Girl Should Stop Romanticizing About Love, Life, And Relationships

If you want to live a happy, fulfilled life, stop romanticizing these toxic behaviors mentioned on Ask Reddit. 

1. First time sex. Sometimes it doesn’t go well, and that is okay.

2. Abusive relationships. If you’re constantly arguing about anything and everything, calling each other names, causing drama for the sake of it, or guilt tripping each other to do what you want, then you’re not good together. Both or only one of you doing this is not okay and not cute. It’s abuse.

3. Falling in love with a bad boy and hoping he’ll change his ways for you.

4. Possessive behavior. No, it’s not cute when your SO gets jealous because of everyone that looks at you; it’s fricking sick. I mean, honestly, if you don’t trust me enough to know I would not cheat on you we should see other people.

5. Love at first sight. Not that romantic, it’s just physical attraction. Lucky you if that person is also someone you end up having lots in common with.

6. Affairs. Which form the plot of half of the romantic comedies/dramas in Hollywood it seems, but it’s ok, because the protagonist’s boyfriend totally wasn’t right for her, and the guy that she cheated with is her true love… ugh.

7. Stalker/creep behavior being excused if the person is attractive. I heard some women the other day talking about the show “You” and how they wish that guy would stalk them.

8. The need to constantly be in a relationship. Being single isn’t the end of the world.

9. Gender norms in dating. When people insist on needing a “perfect gentleman” or a “perfect woman”. Not just because it’s an unreasonable expectation, but when they realize that someone’s a person or push against those conventions, they tend to bemoan that they don’t fit those molds.

Girl, you gotta go ask guys out sometimes. Relieve the pressure, make him feel special by taking him out to dinner. Dudes, chicks aren’t always trying to be cute. Sometimes chicks just wanna dick around and be crude too.

10. Thinking that when a woman says no she’s just playing hard to get.

11. Having children, and I’ll explain. I know a lot of people that aren’t ready to have children, mostly because they are poor. But because they see their friends or other family members having kids, and they want one so they have one. Then their lives, and the child’s are ruined for ever. Stop having children if you can’t take care of them.

12. Perfect relationships or GTFO: A real relationship means work. Hard work, sometimes for quite some time. Also from both sides. I’m not saying stay in an incorrect or toxic relationship, but it seems like if things don’t stay in the infatuation stage, and gets even a little tough, people bail. They bail so fast, and everyone tells them it’s ok, that they deserve/should expect perfection every moment.

13. Female characters being abusive to their boyfriend isn’t abuse, it’s “romantic”.

14. Proposing in front of a large group of people.

15. Romantic comedies. They give women an unrealistic idea of what love should be and causes them to set their standards way too high for any of us guys. They think just because a man wouldn’t sacrifice their lives/careers or doesn’t cater to their cravings, they are suddenly assholes and not worthy of their time.

16. The “Mommy needs wine.” movement. Your kids will be shit heads sometimes it’s all part of it. If they’re shit heads all the time, that’s your fault and if you’re drinking all the time to “deal” with them then you have a problem and it’s not funny.

17. Ridiculously expensive weddings. Average cost of a wedding in my state is around $60,000. A lot of people take out loans and debt for one day of living way outside their means.

18. Flashy displays of wealth and the celebrities that take part. The worst has to be singing about it. Act like you’ve been there before. Humble up. Think about what you can do for others, not just masking your insecurities.

19. Earlier Times. People just forget the bad stuff and never consider that it was bad back then too.

20. Staying at work late. So many people do it and brag about it, but it me it’s saying you can’t get your shit done during normal business hours, so either you are dumb, lazy, or overworked. None of which is something to be proud of. The latter probably matches up with toxic work environment where managers get all pissy if they see people leave before 5 or EoB. One of my old VP’s put it this way for me “I don’t care when you show up or leave, just get your shit done. I’m gonna get what I need from you.”

21. The whole “alpha male” crap.

22. Not giving a fuck. It’s obviously way cooler to get your life together. My coworker is always making jokes about his eating habits, then big whoop, next day he is bitching about feeling crappy all the time.

23. Being an introvert: I don’t like how it has suddenly become cool to constantly cancel plans, and no one is supposed to be upset or stop putting themselves out there to try over and over to find a time that you are finally charged enough to do things. That feels unsustainable.

24. Expensive shoes. Like, I don’t care about your overpriced Yeezys.

25. Anxiety. I’m sure someone else has already said this but it can be said again. People on the internet seem to think it’s some kind of “trend” to have anxiety and panic attacks and they throw terms around like it’s nothing. Anxiety isn’t a joke and it isn’t something people should claim to have without any reason other than that they feel stressed out. (Also, I totally understand that there are plenty of people on the internet who really do have anxiety, but I’ve seen my fair share of people who are very clearly faking it.)

26. Living those “overly stressed lifestyles.” Especially in college. Congratulations on your pulling the sixth full-nighter to cram even more for your finals, but I’d rather get a decent night’s sleep and study with a clear brain.

27. Going out and getting drunk on a weekend (or on a regular weeknight for that matter). Sorry I enjoy spending my Saturday night watching Netflix and eating ice cream. I can’t tell you how many people I have morally offended because I don’t enjoy getting trashed at a crowded bar.


29. That getting married and kids = wholesome life forever

Especially in Asia, that’s like what everyone judges you on. Being single is awesome too.

And you will only be a real woman if you have kids. It’s ridiculous.

30. Vaping, yes it’s healthier than cigarettes and I definitely do want people who were smoking to try switching to vaping for there health but kids are getting an addiction at a very young age. Nicotine is extremely addicting guys. It took me really long to break my habits and it has effected my mental and physical health so much to stop smoking.

31. Cigarettes. Why the hell is every rebellious tough guy on television smoking them like a moron?

32. Cynicism under the guise of “realism”. I often see younger people acting jaded in what I suspect is a defense against being seen as childish. The unromantic skeptic is himself romanticized.

33. That everyone should go to university.

The fact is its simply not a guaranteed route to employment. Even then, you’re just as likely to end up in some awful sales job in a bank – like I found myself in.

That’s not saying I see no value in education, the lessons I learned about critical thinking and schools impact on my communication are invaluable.

But after 7 years slaving away in the bank I became a heavy duty mechanic.

Im happy, I earn more than I ever could at the bank without being a more miserable, medicated whore for a soulless institution that pretends to be pro-social while routinely taking advantage of the low financial literacy of the poor and lower middle class.

34. Not sure if people have noticed this, but psychopaths and sociopaths…they’re broken and shouldn’t be treated with awe as some people do. BBC Sherlock anyone? Utter crap.

35. Playing hard-to-get. It’s basically asking someone to not respect your wishes or boundaries, which right off the bat is a red flag for any relationship.

36. Not taking time off. I hate the “I haven’t taken a vacation/sick day in X years because I am such a hard worker”. F that. You need to take time for yourself, physically and mentally.

37. Abusive controlling relationships. Ie twilight, 50 shades of grey. No one would stay with those creeps in real life.

38. Mommy Martyrdom. When I became a mother, my own mom told me to take care of myself because a happy mom makes happy children. This whole culture of completely stopping your life and only existing to serve your kids is ridiculous. It’s okay to maintain an identity that is separate from motherhood. It’s okay to have hobbies, interests, a career, etc.

39. Sports. The sports themselves are ok, People liking sports is fine. But when you treat athletes different from other people just because they play football, thats the problem.

40. Pregnancy. My wife is having a fucking terrible time. (7 months) and I am at my mental and emotional breaking point. Sickness, HG, gestational diabetes, and mental breakdowns. Every single person in our lives told us it was the best thing ever but it sucks so hard and we are both miserable.

I hope having the actual kid will feel more rewarding and make it worth it.

41. Poverty. You sometimes see it being portrayed like it helps you appreciate the true things in life and just a bit stop before greater things. But poverty just makes everything more difficult – you don’t have money enough to take risks to make money, and poverty reduces your cognitive abilities, making it even harder to escape it.

42. Child abuse presented as a good parenting technique “back in my day”. Whenever someone says, “When I was a kid, I got whipped with a belt every day, and I turned out just fine!”, it makes me want to whip them with my belt to remind them just how awful it felt. And really, Larry, did you turn out just fine, because the evidence shows otherwise…?

43. Shitty relationships. Every relationship on TV or in movies would be a nightmare IRL. Functional, adult relationships with good communication aren’t interesting so they don’t get much airtime.

44. Depression and suicide. Its not charming, its not poetic. It sucks and is not cool.

45. Fighting… it’s not cool getting almost killed and left with several inner bleedings.

46. Serial Killers. It’s important to educate people about them, but the people who talk about wanting to fuck them online are crazy.

47. Bipolar Disorder is not chic.

48. Being OCD… there’s a difference between being “neat and particular and a clean freak” and having crippling/unwanted thoughts, behaviours and actions. In one case you’re just extremely anal. The other, more serious case, you have a genuine mental health diagnosis.

49. Being overly busy/committing to everything someone asks for.

People who have things/activities every night and weekend stress me out.

Be at peace, just learn to be at peace.

50. Lack of sleep. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.