1. Flagrant use of hashtags like #blessed which are, in theory, ironic, but which in practice are 100% serious.
2. Sunrises captioned #NoFilter (and possibly #RiseAndGrind), because it’s important to let people know that your sunrise is of a high enough quality to overcome the crutch of filters.
3. Street art tagged with the word #art.
4. A totally hot selfie that is accompanied with several hashtags’ worth of self-deprecation. (Everyone knows that you don’t actually share busted selfies, you only share good ones and then talk about how bad they are.)
5. A Starbucks cup. (And we should be clear here that the cup in itself is not the significant part, what matters is that Instagram White Girls have pioneered the art of continuing to harvest upwards of 100 likes per cup picture despite them all being, objectively, exactly the same.)
6. An outfit consisting of a chunky sweater, leggings or skinny jeans, riding boots, and an oversized scarf.
7. An OOTD post with the humblebrag of body poses:
8. A gym selfie that is a very thinly veiled excuse for a thirst trap photo. (Which in all honesty is the right thing to do, if you’re working hard you deserve to reward yourself with some sports-bra-in-the-weightlifting-mirror shots. But let’s call a spade a spade.)
9. Drinks, with some remark about how you need to #TreatYoSelf.
11. Adorable workout shoes in colors like fluorescent pink and Tiffany’s blue. (And yes, my computer programmer-esque white Asics are jealous of them.)
12. A #WorkSpace shot, complete with MacBook, healthy drink (in my case water because I didn’t actually have healthy drinks), and some flowers because you cannot get your #hustle on if you don’t have fresh-cut flowers to stare at.
13. Dogs wearing booties.
14. A picture of an iced latte framed like it was a picture of Jesus, or a beloved family member.
15. Pizza with elaborate captions about how magical pizza is, comparing pizza to major religions, or quoting love song lyrics but replacing “baby” with “pizza.” (Note: This also applies to donuts.)
16. Photos from above looking down at shoes, usually with some sort of caption about “taking the first step” or having “both feet on the ground.”
17. An #ArtisticSelfie that is mostly intended to hide the enormous zit on the unseen side of the face.
18. Group selfies where everyone is doing the skinny-arm pose and the skinny-face tilt.
19. Juice, because drinking liquid kale is not worth it unless everyone is hearing about it.
20. Snow on stoops, or the elusive “10-second video of snow falling out of the apartment window.”
21. A fresh manicure, featuring Some Random Behind The Camera Who Had To Photograph This Girl’s Manicure.