1. All four girls from Mean Girls in that scene where they are walking fiercely down the hallway as ‘Pass That Dutch’ plays in the background, because every woman should be able to make a baby blue ruffled miniskirt look that on-point.
2. Gwen Stefani between the years 2004 and 2006, with her ice queen blonde hair with nary a split end. From ‘Hollaback Girl’ to ‘Cool,’ there is so much we can learn from her flawlessness in what I like to refer to as The Stefani Years.
3. Allie in The Notebook, because that bitch was given the choice between a rich, doting James Marsden in a military uniform and sweatily hot Ryan Gosling who built her a house. Like, we should all aspire to that level of success.
4. Olivia Pope, because there is no reason on God’s green earth that a skirt suit should look that good on a human being — when most mortals wear them, they end up looking like a cross between upholstery and a lumpy Designing Woman — but somehow, she does it.
5. Ariana Grande, because that bitch is unreasonably perfect to the point that it’s actually hard to look at. It’s like when you’re looking at an eclipse and you have to cut a hole in a cardboard box or whatever, except you’re just watching the video for ‘The Way.’
6. Pink, and her complete refusal to disappear from the cultural radar despite no one actively enjoying a Pink song since 2003 at the latest. We all need a post-it note on our computers that reminds us, “If Pink can keep churning out pop-punk singles well into the 2010’s despite that whole genre’s complete dissolution, I can get this promotion.”
7. J.Lo in the ‘Love Don’t Cost A Thing’ video, because thattttt bikiniiiii thooooooo.
8. Gabrielle Union. Her spitting in the face of Normal Human Aging is an act of defiance to which we can all aspire. May we all be the 17-year-old East Compton Clover into our early 40s.
9. Awkwafina, for this video:
10. Helga Pataki, because despite having both a unibrow and a scale model of her crush’s head made out of pre-chewed bubble gum, she still managed to boss around all the other kids on the schoolyard. We should all be respecting her conglomerate, as it were.
11. Daria, especially because she broke up with Tom, and we’ve all broken up with a Tom in our lives.
12. Janet Jackson, because she literally recorded the words “I’m heavy like a first-day period” on one of her singles, and somehow the song is still sexy and hot and amazing. Like that was something she said, that her record producers gave the green light to, on a sex song. Her witchcraft is something to be studied for years to come.
13. Dawn Wiener from Welcome To The Dollhouse. *Holds a moment of silence for the too-real tragedy that is Dawn Wiener*
14. Jewel, circa her ill-advised ‘Intuition’ phase, because there but for the grace of God go we.
15. Raven Symone and the fact that she did not use her future-seeing abilities exclusively to get her crushes to like her, as a lesser character would have definitely done on a show like that.
16. Jojo, because we all had just as many feels at the age of 13, we just didn’t have a record deal on which to breathily express them.
17. Cher circa ‘Believe.’ Or, really, Cher circa anything. But also Cher circa her guest appearance on Will and Grace. If I could turn back tiiiiaohm. Tiiiiaohm.
18. Martha Stewart, who did hard time and still bounced back like a phoenix from the registered-felon ashes, because hers are the mini key lime tarts that cannot be held down.
19. Camilla Belle, for doing the strong-yet-refined sexy brow way before Cara Delevigne.
20. All three of Charlie’s Angels in that scene where they’re mercilessly beating the shit out of Crispin Glover, because that dude looks like a real-life panty sniffer.
21. Giada De Laurentiis, because bruschetta, and titties.
22. Mrs. Weasley when she was like “Not my daughter, you bitch!” and you audibly went like “OHHHH SHIT” whilst reading the book alone in your room.
23. I’m not even going to say Beyoncé, because Beyoncé actually exceeds the requirements to be a role model and exists more as some sort of Viking trickster God whose mortal existence will be debated in schools for millennia to come, because how could she be real? But, still, Beyoncé.