She’s Not Crazy, She’s Hurt

woman sitting in bathtub
Joshua Rawson-Harris

She’s allowed to feel hurt and sad because you screwed her over. She’s allowed to scream. She’s is allowed to acknowledge her pain and heartache that you caused. Maybe if you hadn’t abruptly walked out of her life without a reason or explanation she wouldn’t be as hurt. Just maybe had you told her the truth instead of ignoring her, she wouldn’t be so pissed off. But you did and she’s entitled to feel the pain and hurt you caused her.

You disappeared out of nowhere after confiding in each other about numerous things in your lives. Was it all a lie? Was it all just for a lousy lay? Why take advantage of someone’s vulnerability?

Just because you’re insecure and miserable in your own life doesn’t mean you should put someone else through hell. Maybe you should consider staying single and learn how to be content with yourself while no one else is around.

She even told you that you needed to work on yourself. She told you that you hadn’t worked through your shit. But she took your word when you insisted you had. She now knows not to take anyone at their word and go with her gut feelings. She’ll never allow herself to be tricked again.

You are dependent on other people or things to make you happy. But, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, you’ll never be happy relying on external things for happiness. Because the joys and elation you feel when buying a new car or getting in a new relationship will fade rather quickly. They’re all temporary states of happiness if you aren’t happy with yourself.

You’ll end up living a long, miserable life. You’ll end up hopping from one relationship to the next and you’ll end up hurting more and more people. There’s no need for that in a world already full of hatred, cruelty and selfishness.

She knows she did absolutely nothing wrong to you. She sent some messages that weren’t so nice and she’s sure you’re calling her crazy for it. But really, aren’t you the crazy one for faking who you are just to get laid? You don’t have a right nor reason to call her crazy when she was as real as they come and you were hiding behind your mask. You fucked up. You’re the crazy one. Don’t ever blame her.

She’s fought battles and wars you couldn’t win even if you tried. She’s sassy AF and doesn’t hide who she is because she’s spent years and years building herself back up from prior heartache and pain. She believes it takes too much effort to be someone she’s not and won’t even attempt to be someone she’s not. It’s your loss, really.

She knows she can be crazy but in this instance, she’s not crazy, she’s hurt. She’s hurt because she allowed someone to get somewhat close to her just to have that person use her and throw her out like garbage.

Unlike you, she had hurt enough people to know she needed to be alone and find herself before hurting more people. She didn’t like being alone either but she worked through it and although it was painful at times, she knew it was worth it so she didn’t hurt more people down the road. People like you don’t have that level of awareness nor want to become aware because there may be temporary feelings of pain or discomfort you would rather avoid than deal with.

She still can’t believe you went through all of this just for a lay that can be considered mediocre at best. Did you need a boost in your ego or something? And was it necessary to fill your ego at the expense of another human being?

Just because you don’t get hurt doesn’t mean you should hurt others. You called her crazy, but her anger is justified after what you did to her. Ghosting her and making her feel like a hoe is completely unacceptable.

Throughout all of this, she has learned not to be so trusting of others. Now, she will question everyone’s motives and doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to be involved with another person because her heart has taken numerous beatings within the last four-five years. You don’t get to call her crazy if she’s reacting to something wrong you did to her.

She’s not crazy, she has feelings and you hurt her more than you’ll ever realize. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Brittney Lindstrom

Licensed professional therapist and certified rehabilitation counselor

More From Thought Catalog