Why You Can’t Let Go

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You know what you’re holding onto. I know what I am. And I also know that there are many others that have, are, or will be, holding onto something as well. Sometimes it’s for a minute and sometimes it can last for years. Regardless, it’s debilitating. It’s paralyzing. It keeps you stuck in what could have been.

After we seek all the advice we can, it usually rounds out to the same thing: it’s time to let go and move on. If you’re anything like me, just reading that sentence made your heart sink a little and you’re filling up with resistance, shame and anger. You don’t want to let go. You want to hold on until you’re right. You want to hold on until the situation resolves itself the way you want it to.

Because what’s the alternative? You have to go on without that person or thing that you thought you’d never be able to live without. But can I tell you something? You’re living without them right now. Life has moved on. That person or thing has as well. And you’re still here. You’re still functioning. Life didn’t wait for you to catch up, and it never will.

Holding on will not make something come back. In my experience, it actually pushes it farther away. You cannot go back and undo what’s done, my friends. You can only move forward. And if your deepest compulsions and instincts tell you that you’re meant to be with that person or doing that thing, you should let go and move forth and see how life takes you there. Clearly, things aren’t going according to your desired plan already, so why not throw caution to the wind and see where you end up.

And something else to remember is that the things that eventually work out are usually infinitely better than what we had to let go of. I’m sure you can see that in your own experiences. And even if you are brought back to where you hoped you would be, the path was lined with something you had to learn. There aren’t many accidents. In fact, I’d like to argue that there aren’t any at all. If you don’t want to take my word for it, think back on an instance where you were in the throes of depression or anxiety, and couldn’t understand how or why your life was turning out the way it was. How did that situation turn out? Probably fine. Because that’s where we all eventually end up.

Life is not a series of problems to be solved, it’s a journey that you should be fascinated by. Sit back and observe as you live. Signs and directions and messages are everywhere, if you only pay attention. Follow them, they know where you’re going. To hell with logic. Love isn’t logical, nor are miracles. You can’t let go because you’re worried that if you do, what you’re so desperately hoping for will fall apart. I have news for you. You’re tearing it down yourself.  Make way for the bigger, the better, the reckoning, the miraculous and the beautiful. It’s ready for you when you are. TC Mark

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    Best article to start my 22nd. In these 21 years, there were so many choices I had to make. To study in taiwan or singapore, to go on an exchange when my friends are coming over to taiwan, to let go of a relationship when it was really not going to work out. Many times I look back and ponder if I have made the best choice.

    I guess, there is no such thing as “best choice”. Life will unfold the magic when the time is up.

    I don’t know if I have regretted any of my choices so far. I did lose out on many things, but I have gained alot too.

    There will be more choices that I have to make in the coming years. Hopefully, I can remind myself that I need to let go of the alternative once I have made up my mind.

    要學會, 理性。

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