Brandon Scott Gorrell

Watch the film above to see what happens when Eugene takes his laptop’s magic too far, and then post a photo of what you’d wish for if you had a magical, wish-granting Intel-inspired Ultrabook™ with #fourstories on Twitter or Instagram.

Last night I stumbled upon this gem on reddit: a GIF guide that pretty decently clarifies how to pull off Michael Jackson’s signature dance move. Turns out, we’ve been doing it completely wrong the whole time.

Festivus was actually not created by George’s father, Frank Costanza. The fake holiday was created well before the series was even conceived in 1966 by an editor of Reader’s Digest named Dan O’Keefe, who created it to celebrate the anniversary of his first date with his wife.

Preheat oven to 400 F. (Yes, you have an oven in your apartment.)

This week, I’ll cover smoking weed, an activity that can shift overthinkers into psychological overdrive, taking them down the highway of excessive self-shaming, self-loathing, and mental breakdown.

This week, I’ll cover Resting Bitchface Syndrome (RBS), a debilitating affliction that affects the facial muscles, causing the afflicted to appear upset, depressed, pissed off, confused, and/or bored despite internal feelings and mood.

Here are my suggestions about what your favorite Game of Thrones character might say about who you are.

Sometimes, when in situations like these, you find yourself in a conversation where the rules are that you have to keep making up these clever little witticisms to stay in the conversation. It is like a verbal game of ping pong.

Recently realized certain aspects of what he thought was his identity were actually just uncontrollable delusions lacking any concrete behavior as evidence of their truth and significance.

bahahah: You’re a male programmer with a pony tail who’s generally seen as weird/ creepy/ nerdy by your IRL peers and as either a “guru” or a tyrannical dick by your fellow elitist programmers in IRC. You may also employ “mwhahahah.”

Behavior: Avoiding eye contact. Likely to happen when: You’re talking to your crush. In confrontation. You’re talking to someone who intimidates you. You’re talking to someone you hate. Why? It’s another way of making the experience less real – of trying to trick yourself that you’re not actually in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable.

The funny quiet person has a really quirky, surprisingly clever sense of humor and quick wit and as such is that much more endearing. In fact the funny quiet person is perhaps the only type of quiet person that’s capable of being the center of attention while maintaining total conversational efficiency, e.g. Mitch Hedberg.

Whatever the case, if you’re introverted, people just sort of grant you intelligence before you’ve hardly said a word. They’ll look you in the eye, raise an eyebrow and say “You’re one of those smart people, aren’t you? Got a lot going on in your head, huh,” and shake their head in a sort of respect for the concept of human intelligence; in a sort of disbelief, or something.

Perhaps the seminal depression food, Letting Go and eating a Cinnabon is perhaps one of the most saturated-fat- and chemically-induced consolations you can achieve after your self-loathing has reached incalculable highs…

I can hardly even go outside with a hangover anymore without feeling like if I don’t take off my clothes and get into sweats, lie down, cover myself with blankets and start watching a sci-fi/ fantasy epic from the mid ‘80s, I’ll start projectile vomiting on the next person who passes me on the sidewalk.

By introducing a quiet person to a group as a “quiet person,” the quiet person is instantly a) categorized without having input, perhaps ruining any chance of making their own first impression and b) denied the option of being seen as a normal social individual, in the case that today is one of the days that the quiet person is going to try to enhance his conversational output to “normal.”

And it’s not just that the characters find themselves in depressing situation after depressing situation (well, they kind of do), it’s the fact that the scope of the novel makes every depressing instance so much more tragic because you’re highly familiar with what lead each character to the sad place they’re in currently.

After college, you’re thrusted into the real world to Find A Job and Be Self Sufficient, and in turn, you become aware that the people in this world think binge drinking after college actually = alcoholism and a potential sign that one doesn’t have her shit together.