When they never apologize or takes responsibility for bad behavior
Being dependent on you to be happy or entertained. That is the calling card of a needy, insecure and possibly crazy piece of baggage.
I needed this tip back in college. Anytime I went out to do anything, she guilted me into bringing her. Didn’t matter who it was or what we were doing, she had to be there. If I ever went anywhere without her, she sulked and got pissed. That relationship went on about 6 months longer than it should have.
One of the red flags I totally ignored in a past relationship is that I didn’t really like any of her friends. If you don’t like the people your SO chooses to hang out with, you probably should reevaluate things.
If s/he seems displeased any time you go hang out with your friends rather than spending time with him/her, it could be a sign of bigger issues down the road. I’ve seen many relationships deteriorate quickly, to the point where the significant other eventually unfriended nearly all their boyfriend’s contacts on Facebook, saying “You’ve got me, so you have no reason to need anybody else.” Obviously it doesn’t get this far on the first date, but it’s a very slippery slope, so watch out for warning signs.
When they don’t want you to be friends with their friends.
When all their exs are ‘crazy’, nope, common denominator is you dickhead.
In the beginning stages – when they complain about their ex. It isn’t easy to build a new relationship on the ashes of an old one.
Holds on to literally everything and brings up stuff you said months ago, even if you forgot saying it. That scorekeeping stuff gets old really fast, especially when you don’t remember if it’s even accurate or not.
If the guy says “you don’t really want to date me – I’m an asshole”, believe him.
Serial monogamy. If someone just got out of a relationship and starts dating you right away, chances are that they don’t actually like you, but they like having someone in general. They’re just with you to fill a void, and the second you break up, they’ll be onto the next person.
When the time you spend with your SO starts being talked about as if there is a minimum requirement per week. Once you feel like you need a time card, its time to punch out.
Any time the relationship needs to be kept secret, there is a problem in there somewhere. I’ve fallen for it twice and learned my lesson!
I’d say it’s a bad sign if the person treats a difference in your relationship preferences as a wrong/right situation, rather than as a difference in preference. For example, if you want to see your significant other every single day but they don’t feel the same, that doesn’t make you “clingy,” it means you need to either compromise or consider that you just might not be compatible. It makes me really sad to see people get convinced they are wrong when they just have a preference. And I think those who try to convince others that their preference is the “right” way to behave in a relationship are manipulative jerks.
If they don’t have any hobbies. This is a serious red flag because these people tend to be really clingy and jealous.
This more applies to those seriously considering marrying their current SO – Having different religions, views on children, or what is important to save for. Those may seem obvious, but they’re easy to ignore. Oh, you’re Catholic and I’m Baptist? Cool, we’re both Christians, right? Or I’m a lapsed Jew and you’re atheist, great! Yeah, until one of them decides hey, our future kids must be raised in this religion (or none at all). Hey, I want three kids, he really wants one. That may seem like an “oh we’ll figure it out when we get there thing” but that’s too late! Who will be the main caregiver? Will that person still work full-time? The spender/saver issue gets a lot of attention, but what about what you actually want to spend your money on? Would you rather have a smaller house and more vacations? Or a fantastic kitchen and always buy used cars? Those types of things seem to be often overlooked.
If they consistently make you their last priority, or simply an afterthought.
If they want to make “rules” about things you do that they have no business making rules about (i.e., where you go, who you talk to or hang out with), or want to control things like how you dress and how you wear your hair. If they can’t stop talking about their ex, they’re probably not over it yet and nothing is crappier than a relationship where the ex’s ghost is always chilling in the corner. If they constantly have to have their hands on you in public. It’s weird and territorial.
When they treat their mother poorly. I dated a guy who seemed really kind at first, and I then met his family. His mother was one of the nicest, sweetest people I’ve ever met. I noticed little things, like when she would ask him a simple question he would totally snap at her in a really nasty way for no apparent reason. He turned out to be an awful partner, in more ways than one. However, I couldn’t get over how he treated his mother and the way he started to treat me after the ‘honeymoon phase’ was over.
Mood swings. If you’re noticing mood swings that come without warning and confuse the shit out of you, run. The earlier this starts, the faster you run.
If they make you annoyed/unhappy more often than they make you happy.
When EVERY date involves spending money. Alot of women have this need for money to be spent for it to “count as a date”…. Even if you’re going half and half. A real couple needs to be able to enjoy those do-nothing, watch a movie kind of nights… That’s what real day to day married /future life will be like!
If all of your friends, or your trusted family members, hate your boyfriend/girlfriend. Often, they can see things about your SO that you can’t.
Longer than usual breaks from sex or other physical contact. I was naive enough to think it was actually work related.
When the relationship starts while the SO is already in a relationship. Seriously, it will happen to you next.
I always look at the Purse. This may sound absurd, but I’ve found that girls with large purses usually carry a lot of baggage. No pun intended.
If you text your SO and never really respond in a reasonable time, but when they are with you, they are CONSTANTLY on their phone. Thats a serious red flag.
If they have a history of cheating on their SO. “Once a cheater always a cheater.”
Unnecessary jealousy. A friend of mine is in a long distance relationship with a girl in the Philippines and some girl on his Facebook wished him a happy birthday. The Philippines girl called him not even 5 mins after it happened and bitched him out.
Everyone seems to be posting obvious ones… here’s some I’ve found to be not-so-obvious… 1.) If they need excessive attention from the opposite sex. I’m not saying they can’t talk to guys/girls or have guy/girl friends, but if they allow them to flirt and spend an excessive amount of time messaging/hanging out with them… that’s red flag #1. 2.) If they do things specifically because you’re not there; things they wouldn’t do if you were, especially if they don’t tell you about it… that’s red flag #2. This could be a sign they’re ok with doing things behind your back. 3.) If they’re influenced by their friends and/or have friends who are bad influences… this could be verrrrrry dangerous… red flag #3.