I am slowly learning that life does not always go the way I want it to.
I know that it is possible to isolate my life and avoid taking any chances. If I hide myself, I know I will be completely safe from novel threats that are coming my way. However, will I be safe from regrets of not trying? Would this be the kind of life that I want to continue living?
I am learning that, as much as it hurts, I am going to continue expanding the limits of my comfort zone. I am slowly learning that hard work does not always equal success. I understand that there will always be risks that follow. I understand that failure can break me. However, I am learning to accept that life does not always agree with my terms and conditions and with my definition of fairness. I learn that I will be angry, sad, and I might break down because I feel frustrated with my failures. Nevertheless, life goes on.
I am slowly learning that my timeline in life is different than other people. I am learning that social media should never be a point of comparison for my worthiness. There is no use in comparing our behind the scenes with someone’s highlight reels. I need to acknowledge that my life may not reflect the spreadsheet of a magazine but I still lead a beautiful life.
I am slowly learning that I should build a safe haven in my own before I can safely land in someone else’s harbor. Sooner or later, I would need to be honest with myself if I do have a fear being attached to someone else. I am learning that it is possible to tear down the emotional barrier I have been putting for a long time. I am learning to forgive other people’s wrongdoings so I can let go of their haunting grips over my life. Most of all, I need to learn to forgive myself for being so vicious to myself for a very long time. I learn that all the blaming, name-calling, critic, and insults that I provided to myself did not help me to become a better person.
I am learning that the air I breathe in this very second can be my last. I often forget that I am living in the mercy of a borrowed time. Knowing that, I am slowly learning to devote my time to be more grateful. I want to hold off my desire to whine and complain of the inconveniences of life. I want to use my time to build a life that is true to my values and virtue. I am slowly learning that even if I think life is unfair and when things do not go my way, I am given a choice time and time again to either feel sorry for myself or to find a way to make my life better.
After all, I am learning that life goes on. I might fail and I probably will. I am learning that experiencing pain does not equate to suffering. I have been taught time and time again that I am allowed to feel hurt but I do not need to carry it with me. I learn that I can let go of the unnecessary baggages that have been weighing me down. They are not mine to carry anymore. As life goes on, I am free. I am free indeed.