When You’re The ‘Friend,’ Not The Dateable Girl

Petar Chernaev
Petar Chernaev

It feels kind of normal now at this point; you started just seeing yourself as the girl who is the friend to everyone.

You don’t try too hard to flirt because frankly, you’re not very good at it and it makes you semi uncomfortable. You know you aren’t going to be going home with anyone tonight, or any other night for that matter because you’re not the girl that guys want to date, you’re the friend.

You’re basically the only single friend in your group and it’s been that way for a while. Even your other single friends have guys to text and potential dating options, but you’ve got nothing and for a while you’ve been okay with it, or at least accepted it.

You’re the girl that guys come to about your friends, they want you to be their wingman and help hook them up. They come to you as a level of comfort, they see you as the girl who’s there to help and levelheaded enough to give them some good, honest advice.

You don’t like drama and by not throwing yourself into relationships you feel like you avoid the drama. You see all your friends’ problems and struggles and are glad you don’t have to deal with your own.

You’re the girl who hangs out with the guys, not the one who dates them.

You’ve always been the ‘friend’ and you’ve always been cool with that because it never ruins relationships.

You don’t have to worry about taking things to the next level because with you there isn’t the next level. You’re the guys girl, you’re the one who is best friends with the guys and you’ve been fine with that, until recently.

You no longer want to be the girl that everyone only sees as a friend; you want to be the girl they want to date, and maybe even the girl they can’t live without.

It gets hard always being the wingman for everyone else and watching other end up together because you also want your happy ending, you want someone to love you.

You’ve probably always been super close with your guy friends; you’re always the girl who is wholly and unapologetically you. You don’t change your behavior based on whom you’re around, the only thing that changes might be how talkative you are.

Being the friend gets hard after a while because sometimes you just want to feel wanted.

You don’t want to be the girl who is always asked about her friends; you want to be the girl being asked about. You want someone who you’re interested in to be interested in you, too.

Being the friend is great, for a while, you’re always there for everyone and people know they can count on you to be there for them. But after a while it gets old. You want to be the one who is asking your friends what to say back to a text. You want to be the one getting ready to go on a date. You want to be the one who is excited for a whole bunch of firsts with someone new and exciting. You want to be the datable girl, you’re over being the friend girl and there’s nothing wrong with that. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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