25 People On The One Crucial Thing They Wish They’d Known In Their Last Relationship

Leo Hidalgo
Leo Hidalgo

1. “If you want a good relationship don’t start your relationship with someone who is cheating on their boyfriend at the time with you because they will most likely cheat on you as well.” — Sean, 25

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2. “Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean you should stay with them or that you’re good together by any means. Sometimes the greatest act of loving someone is walking away to give them a better opportunity to be who they are.” – Grace, 23

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3. “My last relationship was my first real relationship and I learned exactly what a relationship shouldn’t be. I learned that you should never ever lose friends as a result of your relationship. I was lucky enough to have my friends accept my apologies concerning the way I acted during that relationship because once I was out of it I needed them more than ever. I learned that crying yourself to sleep on a nightly basis was not normal. Having a significant other should, if anything, make you more confident and comfortable in your own skin rather than build your insecurities. You should never let another person belittle you and think it’s okay because they claim to love you. I think my biggest thing I have come to realize is that being alone by yourself is better than feeling alone in the company of someone who “loves you.” –Kelly, 20

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4. “Don’t push your feelings or hard times on to them. I always took out everything on him when I was angry or upset. But most importantly realize that not everything has to be perfect all the time.” – Caylee, 27

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5. “Timing is everything and can make a huge difference.” – Lauren, 28

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6. “The best lesson I learned after being in a long term relationship is that everyone needs time to develop as an independent individual before they should be in a serious relationship. Too often in today’s society guys and girls will hop from relationship to relationship without ever having an extended period of time when they are on their own. I believe this hurts one’s development because by always having a significant other you become dependent on always having someone ‘there.’

“I truly believe that in order to build a healthy, successful, long-term relationship both parties involved need to be in terrific places as individuals in their own respective lives.” — Bryan, 25

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7. “Never dig someone more than you dig yourself and never be selfish with your feelings toward someone.” – Nick, 22

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8. “Never be afraid to realize when you’ve grown apart from your significant other. Sometimes you can still love this person dearly when this happens, but ultimately, you want different things, and each person’s dreams can’t exist in the same reality. If one person is forced to give up their dream in lieu of the others- resentment will inevitably come, and stick around- thus creating a doomed relationship.” – Melissa, 31

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9. “Give 90 percent. That 10 percent is for you. If you give 100 and they give 90, you will notice it, but if you both give 90 it’s a happy medium where each person will have that extra 10 for themselves.” – Alex, 26

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10. “Don’t hate each other. Try to be friends, not right away, but make an effort after time has passed.” – Kevin, 27

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11. “The biggest thing I learned is to not stay with someone because it’s comfortable and convenient. When you’re with someone for so long they become part of your daily life and it’s hard to remember what life was like without that person. Even when you no longer love them the way you used to, and you know breaking up is the best, it just seems like it will flip your entire world upside down if they’re no longer in it. But go with your gut and do what you know is best, everything will fall into place and you will be much better off in the long run.” – Dayl, 23

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12. “Never settle. If you are anything but happy, get out of the relationship. It’s becoming unhealthy and toxic.” – Mia, 29

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13. “A healthy relationship can only exist when each person involved is happy with themselves, that’s not just some dumb, cliché saying, it’s really true. Don’t be afraid to take time and figure out who you are and what you want. Some people jump from one relationship to the other, and they never take a chance to let themselves stand on their own two feet.” – Missy, 32

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14. “Long distance is definitely a two way road. Both parties have to want the relationship to stay alive.” – Sarah, 23

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15. “No one can change for you, they can only change for themselves.” – Joelle, 21

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16. “I learned to leave at the first sign of abuse, they may apologize but they’ll always do it again.” – Ava, 25

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17. “You have to want it more than you want anything else. It’s not always going to be easy, it’s going to take work, and it’s going to be hard sometimes. You’ve got to be able to support each other through every and any phase in your life. If you can’t talk with the person you are with about something as simple as likes and dislikes, sex, etcetera, you’ll never be able to work through the tougher issues. Be open, and always be yourself, and if they don’t love you that way, they aren’t the right person for you.” – Jenny, 23

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18. “Communication is key, without having effective communication on both sides someone’s not happy.” – Taylor, 29

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19. “Trust your gut. If you think they’re lying they most likely are. If you have to look through their phone, end it. Trust is what makes a relationship successful. If you don’t trust someone without proof by creeping then the relationship isn’t working.” – Katie, 25

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20. “If your friends and/or family don’t like him, they’re right. Always. Literally always.” – Shannon, 24

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21. “Growing into a person that you can love without having to rely on acceptance or outside love is the most important thing I’ve learned about relationships. If you’re not whole on your own, you can’t expect a fulfilling relationship. If you aren’t 100 percent on your own, you can’t expect someone else to bring their 100 percent to the table.” – Kaleigh, 21

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22. “Relationships are a growing process, but if you’re not confident in the person you are and your goals, you’re not going to be able to grow forward with someone.” – Mel, 27

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23. “People that are hurting conflict hurt unto others, whether it’s consciously or not.” – Blake, 28

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24. “Trust is everything.” – Caleb, 24

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25. “One huge thing I’ve learned from the long relationships I’ve been in is how important it is to get to truly know someone before you start a relationship. You need to be friends with someone before you can date them because that person will become your best friend in the time. I feel the best way for that to be genuine is that you need to know them on a friendship level. It makes the relationship much stronger and the bond is a lot different.” –Elyse, 26 TC mark

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