As much as we all hate to admit it, we’re people pleasers. We want people to like us. It’s a weakness that everyone has in common. We can’t help it. What happens when you allow other people’s opinions of you to dictate your opinion of yourself? What happens when you start viewing yourself through everyone else’s eyes? What happens when you no longer recognize the person in your reflection? The answer is simple, unhappiness. How can you truly be happy if you don’t even know who you are anymore?
I know this is easier said than done but do it. Live in the moment. I was in the most toxic six-year relationship and never realized how unhappy I truly was until I got out. Sure, I drink too much sometimes, but for the most part, I love the person I’ve become. I was no longer consumed with doing his laundry, making sure he ate, being upset when he chose going out with his friends over being with me, and so many other things I never should’ve tolerated in the first place. I was finally able to focus on the most important aspect, ME.
When I stopped being consumed by him, the way he treated me, and the way he made me feel about myself, I was able to realize that I loved him so much more than I loved myself, and that is NEVER OKAY. I got the out that I had desperately needed for so long and I ran with it. I ran and I never looked back. I ran so fast that I fell down a couple times. The best part was that even when I fell down, it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as not feeling worthy enough. I wanted him to love me in all the ways that I didn’t love myself and that wasn’t healthy. I was so consumed with making him love me, I forgot to love myself.
So I literally stopped giving a shit.
I spent the next four months discovering who I am and what it takes to make me happy. During this time, I did a lot of self-reflection and realized what I will and won’t tolerate. If it comes down to making a choice between me and something/someone else, I will choose me every time. Sure, that sounds selfish, but you should be the most important person in your life. I realize that now. I realize that no one if going to love me or have my back like I do.
What happens when you get happy?
You attract the best kind of people in your life. You create REAL friendships with people who genuinely care about you and your feelings. You attract the right type of guy and realize that you were stupid for not leaving sooner. When you finally get happy, you become the best damn version of yourself and people deserve to know her.