Thought Catalog

I Miss The Electricity Before A First Kiss

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a moment
like a hum
like the first note of a saxophone
like my god, is
it ever going to happen
or is this like
putting a tongue on
a frozen pole
and getting stuck
like what if my mouth
never gets to know
his and how do I explain
a tragedy like that
like a tiny shock
that you can feel
run up your spine
and work its way
like a tendril
twisting up
through the brain
like oh shit
what if my breath
isn’t okay
like oh my god
I think there was garlic
in the last thing I ate
like all this air
but I still can’t breathe
I am spinning
I am spinning
above and below
like I think magicians
are creepy
but there’s magnetism here
like can’t deny
this pull
this nauseating gravity
like I don’t know
where to put my hands
but I want to suck
on his fingertips
like everything
was for this
was to be
here TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨


In her third poetry collection, Ari Eastman takes us through a very personal journey of growing up, loss, love, and surviving it all.

there are too many rooms here, 
too many places
for my grief to sit

★★★★★ “Absolutely gorgeous writing. one of my new favorite collections of poetry. covers topics from grief to feminism to mental health and on. would definitely recommend to anyone even somewhat interested in poetry.” —Jessica

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Read more books in 2018…

Cut yourself some slack. One of the biggest regrets most people have about their 20s is that they didn’t enjoy them more. And I’m not talking about “buy more expensive dinners, take another trip to Thailand” type of enjoyment. I mean having the ability to take a deep breath and sip coffee in the morning knowing that you have done, and are doing, your best.

“These essays are slowly changing my life, as the title promises. As my friends’ birthday come along, they will all be receiving a copy of this wonderful book.” – Janie

Amazon: 4.8/5 stars
Goodreads: 4.29/5 stars

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