17 Tragic Signs You’re A Broke Ass Bitch

Thought.is
Thought.is

1. You’ve spent a solid 20 minutes maneuvering your semi-broken phone charger to get in juuuust the right spot so that it kind of works.

2. The only designer you know is Forever 21. And that dude who did the Panda song.

3. Instead of just buying new liquid soap, you put water in it when it starts running low. Probably dilutes its ability to wash off germs, but whatevs. You’re…thrifty?

4. Your leggings have holes in them. And nah, you didn’t buy them like that. But you’ll roll with trendiness of the ratty clothes look as long as possible.

5. You’ll wear day old make up. You’re gonna get your money’s worth out of that Sephora shit, trust.

6. You only really go out to a club or bar because it means you’ll likely score a free drink. Free alcohol just tastes SO much better.

7. You know 20 different ways to make ramen.

8. You’ve considered some seriously questionable Craigslist jobs. But then again, $250 to let a dude tickle your feet? Could be worse…right?

9. You’ve Googled, “How much would I make if I sold my eggs?”

10. The idea of marrying for money vs. love seems like a practical decision, tbh.

11. Your biggest sexual fantasy is meeting a hot Sugar Daddy.

12. You’re not above selling gifts people give you on Ebay.

13. You’re the Queen of Free Trials, and then canceling whatever you signed up for before getting actually charged for anything.

14. When someone offers to pick up the bill at a restaurant, you do the whole, “Oh, no!” protest, but hope they’ll insist.

15. You have a love/hate relationship with your credit card.

16. Joanne The Scammer is a personal hero of yours.

17. If you find random money in your pocket or purse that you weren’t expecting, you feel like a f*cking millionaire, and immediately treat yourself. Go ahead, Babe. You deserve it. TC mark

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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