Just So You Know, It’s Okay To Still Care About Him

Drew Wilson
Drew Wilson

He’s gone and you’ve been told in so many different ways and times you’re supposed to move on. You’re supposed to patch up your heart with whatever tools you have at your disposal – tape, glue, thread and needle.

They say to go forward. Be better. Let your tears dry, slam the door, never dare to look back.

*insert any inspirational quote you want*

Everyone is telling you how to move on.

To stop looking at your phone. To stop reading his messages. To stop remembering the swarm of butterflies whenever he said your name.

That’s all you’ve been hearing lately. Stop. Stop. Stop.

As if it’s that easy.

Everyone is an expert in “getting over it” when they aren’t the one actually hurting.

But you know what all these people keep failing to mention?

It’s perfectly okay if you still care.

When you feel strongly for someone, that doesn’t disappear over night. There’s no magic wand you can wave around and – POOF – all feelings have suddenly vanished.

You’re allowed to miss someone. You’re allowed to grieve their absence in your life. You’re allowed to think about them, to wonder how they are, if they’re happy.

Now listen, I’m not suggesting you stay stagnant or wallow for the rest of your days. If it’s hard to see them on social media, hide their posts. Delete their number. Take whatever steps are necessary for you to heal.

But what I am saying is nothing’s wrong with you if letting go seems like an impossible feat right now. Nothing’s wrong with you for loving someone who isn’t still there. You’re not weak or pathetic or somehow less than because your heart is still aching.

When someone leaves an impression on our lives, we never really forget them. So why should you be ashamed of that? Why should you be expected to pretend what happened never did?

There will be a day when the shattering in your chest isn’t so palpable. Your eyes won’t be so sore from crying at 2 am. You won’t freak out whenever your phone beeps.

But you might still care. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with you.

You loved. And that’s the most beautiful thing any of us can do. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Ari Eastman

✨ real(ly not) chill. poet. writer. mental health activist. mama shark. ✨

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