1. Leggings are your lifeline.
You are a diehard supporter of yoga pants (whether or not a yoga class is in the near future). Frankly, you could care less if people think leggings don’t qualify as pants. They’re stretchy. They’re comfy. They’re the anti-denim. And those babies will forever be part of your wardrobe. “They can take our lives, but they will never take our LEGGINGSSSSSSSSSS!!!!”
2. You still can’t get over jeggings.
Seriously, leggings that look like jeans? MOVE OVER EINSTEIN, BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS GENIUS.
3. Dresses and skirts take up a lot of closet space.
Because weather permitting, you are SO down to skip pants altogether. Why put your legs in jail when they could live happy and free? You’re all about liberating them ASAP.
4. Buttons are your nemesis.
It’s bad enough that jeans are constrictive af, but now you have to button those assholes?! What the actual f*ck? But don’t worry, you’re crafty. If your top is long enough, you’re just going rogue and unbuttoning those suckers when no one is looking. À la The All-American Rejects, it’ll be your dirty little secret.
5. You don’t want your food choices limited.
Jeans aren’t exactly forgiving. No room for a food baby to grow. What if you have twins? And (GOD FORBID) you have to wear jeans, you dread the Hellish feeling that will soon follow if you decide to go ham on that quesarito. #LetFoodBabiesBreathe2016
6. Because why wear jeans when you could eat copious amounts of cheese?
No pants = no worries. Hakuna matata.
7. There’s basically one thing you like more than sex.
…And it’s the feeling of taking off your pants. Not necessarily because it’s the first step in getting laid, but because it feels SO.DAMN.GOOD to escape from that denim prison.
8. You’re weirdly jealous of when women couldn’t wear pants.
Not that you’re into any form of gender discrimination, if ladies want to wear pants, hell yeah they should wear them! But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t sometimes fantasize about a life when pants weren’t an option.
9. You aren’t willing to compromise your health just to look good in skinny jeans.
You knew it all along! THESE CONTRAPTIONS ARE EVIL INTENDED TO KILL YOU!!! Just ask this 35-year-old Australian woman who ended up in the hospital.
10. You consider sweatpants totally acceptable to wear in public.
wearing sweat pants to the bar tonight bc I'm finally living my best and most honest life.
— Ari Eastman (@ivegottatheory) October 18, 2015
*goes to the club in sweatpants* whats good
— arabelle sicardi (@arabellesicardi) January 31, 2016
Is it acceptable to wear sweatpants 2 days in a row🙃
— Maura (@Maura_Duke) January 28, 2016
Ok, what’s more fashionable than being comfortable?
11. People freak out when they see you wearing jeans.
It’s such an abnormality to see you in them that everyone loses their damn minds. It’s like you suddenly grew an extra limb. “IT’S JUST JEANS, CALM DOWN.”
12. You dream of a world where you can walk down the street in your undies.
If you can walk around a beach town in a swim suit, why couldn’t you roam free in your cute panties? C’mon. It makes perfect sense.