One day you’ll feel like something is missing in your life. You won’t be able to pinpoint it at first; you’ll try to ignore it and bury that confusion by doing something productive.
But when the night comes creeping in, you will once again feel that hollow inside your chest.
You’ll wonder what it is that’s bothering you. You’ll pretend you have no idea, but you know exactly what you’re missing. You can’t run away from loneliness. You’re also a human being who has vulnerable moments, even if you hate to admit it.
One day you’ll know it’s a longing feeling of a love that you don’t have anymore. A love that you wasted and threw away.
You’ll stare at the city skyline outside your room, and remember how someone used to care about you. Your heart will hurt a little by thinking about the past. You will realize that some things will never be the same again and the people you pushed away won’t come back to you.
You’ll rest your forehead on your glass window, look at the moving cars below your building, and remember me.
You’ll wonder if I still smile over tiny, adorable things. You’ll wonder if my enthusiasm about my dreams has changed. You’ll wonder where on earth I am at this moment, because you know that I’m always moving, always discovering something new, always leaving, always running.
Then you’ll whisper my name to fill the silence in your room, and ask yourself if I think about you too.
You’ll consider getting back with me. You’ll desperately want the void in your heart to be filled again. You’ll admit that I’m the only person in the world who can understand every part of you.
One day, you’ll swallow your pride and ask me if we can salvage the relationship that we left behind. But I’m not sure if my answer will be yes.
I’m not sure if I want to meet you halfway again. Because I can’t go back to the place that brought me pain. I can’t step back into a world that rejected me before. I can’t look you in the eyes, because I know I’ll only remember the person who broke my heart.
One day you’ll wonder if I still have feelings for you. But by then, my heart won’t recognize you anymore.
You’ll no longer be the one I keep thinking about. You’ll no longer have a special place in my life. And you’ll no longer be the person I can’t live without. You’ll just be someone I used to love. Someone from my past. An ex- lover. A person I don’t know anymore.
One day, you’ll regret for pushing me away, for not appreciating my love for you, for assuming I’ll always stay. But it will be too late.
It will be too late for you to come knocking on my doors because I won’t answer. I won’t open them for you. I won’t be intrigued about what’s waiting for me behind those doors.
One day, you’ll ask me for another chance. But unfortunately, my feelings for you won’t be the same as they were before.
Because my feelings for you already vanished the first time you walked out of my life.