Lately, I have been trying to keep myself busy and distracted. I run around trying to get things done until my body and mind shut down. I haven’t been properly looking at myself or checking on myself, feeling so proud and content that my days are filled with a list of things to do. Yet, I keep waking up with this weight and emptiness in my chest. On the outside, everything looks perfect, but on the inside, my emotional void is getting bigger. I think I might be lonely.
Even though I am active, I have been shutting myself away from the world and myself. I am distracted and busy but for the wrong reasons. I am trying to be busy so that I don’t have to face up to the problems I need to address in my life. Loneliness.
We all have our different reasons for feeling lonely. Be it living miles away from friends and family, not having intimate and close relationships, or not doing what sparks a light within you, it’s a stinging feeling to experience. It takes time to admit it, and you might be adding to your loneliness without realizing it.
Part of feeling lonely is always rooted in how we respond and treat ourselves. Are you paying attention to yourself? Are you doing things you enjoy? Are you kind to yourself? Are you enjoying your own company? Are you opening up to people and letting them in? All these are questions you are encouraged to ask yourself because more often than not, we tend to neglect ourselves. It is so easy to do.
It’s so easy to run away from ourselves. It’s so easy to not give ourselves the love and care we so desperately need from others. It’s easy to rely on external factors to fulfill our deepest desires, and that’s how loneliness can spiral into a dark pitfall. In times of loneliness, in times of desperation, you need to have your own back. You need to scoop yourself up and be ready to tenderly nourish the voids in you heart that have been accumulating.
In times of loneliness, you need to remember that unless you don’t water your heart, there might be no else to do it for you. In times of loneliness, you need to remember to look within your emptiness and neediness and not be ashamed of its magnitude. In times of loneliness, kiss your pain, hug it, and acknowledge it.
Loneliness can hit any one of us. Lay with, let it even crush you a little, until you find your way. I promise, one day it will crawl out of your skin.