An Open Letter To My Big Brother

Margot Gabel
Margot Gabel

Hey Brother Bear,

I can pretty much see your face right now as you start to read this. Probably at your desk listening to the new Adele obviously. I think somewhere along the way I stopped telling you how much I look up to you in almost every single way. I bet it gets old sometimes, always wearing a red cape in my eyes, as if you could never do anything wrong. But you’re human and I forget that sometimes. I need to tell you some things I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while. We both know I’m a better writer than verbalizer.

You’ve influenced almost every decision I’ve made, even if you don’t know it.

You probably don’t remember (because you have the memory of a goldfish) but one time you said you wanted to get a degree in communications or journalism. You are an accountant so clearly you didn’t do that but I have a degree in communications.

When I was deciding what I wanted to do with my life, your love of sports came into my mind. As someone who always liked playing sports, I never imagined a life in which I worked for a baseball team. But in the end I did (and loved every second of it) because I really wanted you to think I was cool. Hell I joined a fantasy baseball league so we’d have even more in common. Mostly though it was so I could beat the boys.

I’m proud of you.

I am so proud to claim you as my brother. I get a weird pride feeling when people ask me if I’m your sister. Also the person that I’ve watched you turn into, a loving boyfriend and successful professional, makes me realize and hope that anything is possible in my own life. You’re pretty awesome.

I hate it when my friends call you hot.

Sure you’re a good looking guy. I mean we’re cut from the same cloth and I’m pretty good looking myself so it’s bound to happen that a few of my girlfriends will make comments on your looks. I hate it. Thanks for never dating any of my friends.

You’re stupidly funny.

Sometimes it takes me a second to get your jokes because they’re always witty and smart. As soon as I do get them the same thought goes through my brain, “How the hell did he think of that?” When someone calls you quiet, I laugh because I know that as soon as you open up, everyone around you is going to want to hear the hilarious one liners you have. Especially the ones about mom.

You’re my hero.

One of mom’s friends one time asked me why I talked about you like you walked on water. It’s because in my mind you do. You always have. There was a time when I wondered if we were going to be the kind of siblings that just stop talking. But we talk almost every day whether in the form of cute puppy pictures or songs that we need to tell each other about. It’s the best part of my day.

I freaking love you.

It’s true. Every time I go to leave to travel back to my new hometown, I almost tell you but there is something holding me back. Must have something to do with my need to always look tough. But I love you so much.

My life wouldn’t be anywhere near to what it is if you didn’t exist. I’m almost scared to wonder what would have happened to me if you weren’t there helping me pave my way. So thank you for reading my articles, listening to my boy troubles and for being my big brother. I’d be so lost without you.

Love always,
Al TC mark

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