You are doubly and triply blessed—it’s like everywhere you go, you have a whole security squad of angels in sharply pressed business suits and designer sunglasses protecting you at all times. Things always go your way in the end, even when it doesn’t look like they will—whenever they seem to be going the wrong way, you can be sure it’s not the end; it’s just a temporarily inconvenient plot twist. The best thing you could do, for both the world and for yourself, is to share just a little bit of your good luck with the less fortunate.
You’re the type who finds $100 bills on the sidewalk. You and all your friends could go tiptoeing through meadows in springtime, and you’re always the only one to find a four-leaf clover. The only way you can mess up is depending entirely on good fortune and neglecting what you need to do to make your life better. Don’t take your good fortune for granted. The hand that gives is also the hand that can take away. Learn to be grateful, because good luck never lasts forever—not even for you.
You were born in the sunshine. You were blessed with good looks, brimming with confidence and sex appeal coming out your yin-yang. If you made your next vacation destination Las Vegas, you’d likely walk away with the whole town in your pocket. Your only problem is that sometimes you don’t look where you’re walking.
You’ve been lucky with your family and in your career. You’ve also been lucky in that you’re better-looking than all the rest of your family members and everyone where you work. Your only bad luck is in love, but that’s because you always pick the jerk over the nice guy. Pick the nice guy next time, and your ranking on this list will shoot to #1.
For you, luck comes in phases—long streaks of bad luck followed by long streaks of good luck. Your task is to ride out the bad streaks and capitalize on the good ones. Realize that not everything is under your control, and you shouldn’t stress over what you can’t control. Instead, start calmly planting seeds for a happier future, and when they come to bloom, it will have nothing to do with luck.
For you, the wind blows in both directions. You’re extremely lucky in love, very unlucky in things such as finances. Therefore, don’t worry about love—even if you’re single, and especially if you’re currently bogged down with someone who makes you unhappy, you can rest assured that someone better is waiting in the wings.
Have you noticed how your “luck” seems to improve the more you plan for the future? Pssst—here’s a hint. Make it your goal to learn the difference between bad luck and bad decisions. There are some things—death of a loved one, your employer going out of business, a particularly brutal winter—that you just can’t control. That’s bad luck. Focus instead on making good decisions. If you don’t know how to make good decisions, find the wisest person you know and make them your best friend. That will be the best decision you ever made.
My poor little butterfly, life has been so unfair to you. You’ve been dealt a bad hand. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t always mean you don’t have a reason to be—life has thrown you some real curveballs. Well, at least adversity builds character…right? Out of all the signs, you’re the one most likely to take lemons and make lemonade out of them.
It’s always raining on your parade. It feels like you can go months without ever seeing the sun. Every so often you decide that the best thing you can ever hope to do is just shrug and learn to like the rain, maybe let the soft pitter-patter sounds help you drift off to sleep and forget your bad luck for a while. And then, when you least expect it, comes a rainbow.
Every time you roll the dice, it comes up snake eyes. Every time you play blackjack, you get 22. Every time they’re handing out lottery numbers, you draw number 13. But take hope—like they say, it’s always darkest before the dawn. And for your life right now, it’s about 4AM. Roll over, get a couple more hours of sleep, and when you awake, your life will be brighter. I promise.
In the face of all the bad luck, your good luck is that you were born with a stubborn spirit. As the saying goes, that which doesn’t kill you makes you the badass bitch that you are. And even when it seems like the whole world is against you, you hold out hope that there’s one person who isn’t. And you know what? You’re right. That person is out there. Find that person and never let go of them.
Geez, you can’t catch a break. It feels like you were born under a bad sign, under a dark cloud, under an unbreakable hex. And if you get the occasional streak of good luck, you’ll find a way to mess it up. You can overcome your bad luck if you refuse to surrender it. As a wise saint once prayed, learn the difference between what you can change and what you can’t. You can’t change your bad luck, so change everything else.