1. “I’m very fond of mine. I consider it an excellent size. I could go for another inch if I had the option. But I like it as it is.”

2. “This is absolutely true. I used some off brand (i.e. not Trojan or Durex) called “LifeStyles” and I could barely stay hard because it was squeezing the life out of my dick. Magnums are perfect because they cinch at the base to stay on, but give the rest of your master chief room to breath.”

3. “Thick, black and veiny. I don’t have complaints though I do wish I could spray when I shoot, rather than ooze which is what I currently do.”

4. (After sending sending dick pics to someone) “I hope your lack of reply thus far is not a sign of disappointment.”

5. “I have a nice penis. It is big and thick.”

6. “It’s fine.”

7. “My dick is about as normal as they come.”

8. “Awesome to fuck hot guys with!”

9. “Well, I could say that being uncut gets guys intrigued… and it grows to a nice size. But the best part is the curve which I was confused about as a child, but today I know how much fun it can be.”

10. “I’m a grower. It sucks to be a grower when you’re in a swimsuit, though.”

11. “Not to sound like I’m bragging, but my ex used to say, “Oooo, big boy!” But he is Asian so maybe his frame of reference is smaller lol.”

12. “My dick is a little thicker than average. I have big balls. It’s a little over 7 inches. I’m circumcized.”

13. “It hangs to the right and I always wanted it to hang straight. I used to make it talk when I was little.”

14. “When I was a kid I used to hide my dick and balls between my legs so it would be flat like a V.”

15. “Thick.”

16. “The perfect hard thick headed fuck stick to make love.”

17. “Horny.”

18. “It gets rock hard. Usually stays that way off and on for hours in the morning when I’m alone.”

19. “Sometimes after I masturbate I’m in pain. Well, not actual pain per se, but it is definitely uncomfortable down there for a few hours. I get jealous of people who can orgasm more than once. I need HOURS between orgasms. That or when I wake up the next morning after masturbating the night before, my hard on is so hard it actually hurts.”

20. “My dick is beautiful. My dick is masc. My dick is male flesh. My dick is as important to me as my brain and my heart. I love talking about my dick.”

21. “White people are so boring. The dicks are OK but half the time they’re so boring they don’t know how to use it!”

22. “My dick is solid: trusty and reliable.”

23. “I think it’s the perfect size, sometimes a bit slow to shoot but always ready to rise.”

24. “People like to talk about how big their dicks are on the internet. And they LOVE to talk on the internet about how much they hate condoms and how condoms hurt them because of how big their dicks are.”

25. “I like to call him Russel the love muscle.”

26. “I just feel like such an asshole when I bust out a magnum condom for my monster dong.”