You were there through different relationships the way a people weathers different administrations, learning intimately what it is they are looking for and the mistakes they are making — mistakes you know you have to let them make for themselves, just as they allow you yours.
Are you depressed? You may want to just buy Elliott Smith’s entire discography and save yourself the trouble.
When you’re starving for their time and attention, this is an opportunity for sustenance. The scraps and crumbs of their busy schedule will serve as nourishment. Very little, but that’s better than nothing.
They come to your art show. They encourage you to practice with your band. They don’t get jealous or upset when you have to work late. They genuinely want you to succeed.
If your’e telling a story, have no concept of what you’re actually saying, and realize far too late that you’ve been talking for seven straight minutes about that time you thought you got rabies from that raccoon you tried to domesticate at summer camp.
Horrifying spelling. A text riddled with basic errors can be a deal breaker. Not abbreviations — but messages that look like the Zodiac-killer wrote them and take forever to decode.
Unsolved Mysteries is the reason why I watch my garage door go all the way down – because if I don’t, a killer will most definitely slide under at the last second.
Stop wasting money renting a studio apartment that more accurately resembles a closet or buying expensive gym class fads/designer clothes/beauty products that’ll make you skinnier/trendier/prettier/whatever.
See all of your friends from home one last time and remind yourself of how much you love them, how big a part of you they are, and how you should do better to keep in touch with them during the school year.
I know you must get that a lot, and on good days you probably let it slide. You think, “We’re happy and that’s all that matters,” you think, “Some people are just ignorant, but that’s not our problem.”
But now that every person with a smart phone has instant access to every bit of human knowledge, not only do you have to be right 100% of the time, you have to be right with stunning accuracy.
I know I love you because I want to listen, I really do. I don’t have anywhere to be that can’t wait for a while and I’m not checking my phone, in fact turned it off and buried it in the cushions the moment you said you needed me. I’m here for you and that other thing can wait.
We all know that tragic couple who is constantly having some Maury-esque fight, vowing never to speak to each other again, sleeping together a week later, and putting that relationship right back up on Facebook the next day.
I’ve shot airsoft guns, paintball guns, water guns, Nerf guns, staple guns – every type of gun that isn’t actual bullets.
It means just because they’ve often declared their admiration and respect for Neil Patrick Harris and Ellen DeGeneres, it can mean diddly-squat when it comes to their own flesh and blood being interested in breaking out the rainbow paraphernalia.
Even though Spotify was straight player hating this week (Five Total songs? One Aaliyah album? RLY?), I think you’ll enjoy it just the same.
Am I supposed to smile while everybody sings? Or do I modestly laugh? Do I make eye contact with people individually, or glance by all of them? Would it be corny if I did that little orchestra conductor thing? Yeah, that’d be corny.
