The other day a guy hit on me by telling me that I was “like a hot person…but shrunken.” I responded, “So, a hot person? You could have just said that.” In some universe, I believe he meant that to be very sweet, but in this one, it was a backhanded compliment at best.
The men of this world clearly need help to step up their game. This is not cutting it. Enter Tina Fey. Next time you want to compliment someone, use this handy guide to picking people up with Mean Girls quotes instead, and you’ll immediately prove you are marriage material. Manties dropped.
As they say, Mean Girls is the sincerest form of flattery. Take it from a former Gretchen Weiners: Regina George will get you everywhere.
1. “You’re, like, really pretty…So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?”
2. “I’ve got a big lesbian crush on you.”
3. “Oh, hi. Do you wanna buy some drugs?”
4. To the object of your affection: “Your hair looks sexy pushed back.” To your wingman: “Will you please tell him that his hair looks sexy pushed back?”
5. “Your face smells like peppermint.”
6. “You’re a regulation hottie….Own it.”
7. “Oh my God, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it?”
8. “Four for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco!”
9. “You have really good eyebrows.”
10. “You wanna do something fun? You wanna go to Taco Bell?”
11. “I can put my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?”
12. “I will keep you here until four.”
13. “I hear [you] do car commercials…in Japan.”
14. “Damn! I’d rather see you out there shakin’ that thang.”
16. “Everyone in Africa can read Swedish.”
17. If you see a newbie at the bar: “Watch out! Fresh meat coming through.”
18. “Danny DeVito, I love your work!”
19. “Oh my God, you’re so skinny!”
20. “Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.”
Note: I don’t think #18 would work, ever, but I’d love to see someone try it.