Quoting Mean Girls isn’t just a sport. It’s a national pastime. Mean Girls is how we make sense of the world, giving the chaos of the universe a recognizable template by which to understand it. More than any writer of her age (and I’m serious), Tina Fey has changed the ways that young people speak and interact with each other, introducing lovely new phrases into the vernacular like “fetch” and “that’s not a thing.” If I had to go an entire day without using a Fey-ism, I don’t know if I could do it. Tina Fey gives me life. She is my reason for being.
With that in mind, I compiled a list of my most-used Mean Girls quotes, in no particular order. This list is in no way an objective compilation, and you may find that your favorite quips vastly differ from mine. That’s one of the great things about it: it’s an endless source of humor to pull from, a veritable Bartlett’s for our age. Do you have favorites I didn’t include? (Hint: I purposefully left a couple favorites off, to give you something to feedback about.) Leave them in the comment section below.
1. “Get in loser. We’re going shopping.”
2. “Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.”
3. “Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George.”
4. “We only carry sizes one, three and five. You could try Sears.”
5. “That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.”
6. “It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well… they can tell when it’s raining.”
7. Janis: “We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock on Regina’s whole dirty history.” Damian: “Say crack again.” Janis: “Crack.”
8. “But you’re, like, really pretty… So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?”