Thought Catalog
January 21, 2015

21 Ways An Alpha Woman Stands Out From Everyone Else

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1. She has an almost natural confidence about her that follows her everywhere she goes. It’s not loud or abrasive or attention-seeking, but positive and endearing.

2. The way she does things exists in the space between effort and ease. She never tries to force things that won’t fit, nor does she believe in leaving things to chance. She almost always seem to strike somewhere in that virtuous middle.

3. She knows there is a difference between wanting to be liked by everyone, and treating everyone with class and respect.

4. She is no pushover, though. And if the situation calls for it, she’s unafraid to give people the harsh truths they might not want to hear.

5. But she’s got enough backbone and character to know that if she’s going to tell the truth, then she better expect the truth from others too.

6. She always knows the difference between positive criticism and negative criticism. With the former, she retains and tries to learn. With the latter, she doesn’t sweat it too much.

7. She’s unafraid to speak her mind but she also knows when it comes to speaking or silence, common sense should be the guide. Because doing either poorly, only leads to negative outcomes.

8. She’s got her own sense of style. She doesn’t feel the need to buy into society’s ridiculous expectations for what one should wear, how one should look, etc.

9. She knows the easiest thing in the world is to judge another woman and make comparisons out of insecurity. She’s mindful of this and makes every effort not to be intimidated by another woman’s beauty, achievement, or success. Because she knows none of those things are a zero-sum game.

10. She knows there is always going to be another woman who society will insist is prettier, smarter, more successful, etc. And she knows how to cut out the noise that says she should be more like her. No, she believes in being more like the best version of herself.

11. She knows how to walk away from relationships that are harmful. Not just romantic relationships but friendships, work contacts, etc.

12. She knows the difference between compromising for a relationship and settling into a relationship because of fear, boredom, or both.

13. She doesn’t believe in using people for selfishly motivated gains. In any and all relationships, she believes in reciprocity, and also giving without expecting anything back.

14. She seeks out a strong support group around her because she knows that everyone needs help, love, and support. But she also knows that everyone must fundamentally believe they are enough.

15. When she’s got a problem, she puts it in perspective: Is this a big problem? Is this a speed bump? She tries to keep the small things small, and deals with the big ones the best way she can.

16. She knows how to communicate her needs from those around her, without making assumptions. She knows that it’s always better to ask than to assume.

17. She knows how to commit to getting something she wants, and how to be single-minded about it. But she also knows that failure is a part of life. She doesn’t let it kill her spirit but lets it invigorate her to see opportunities, or gain a new perspective.

18. She knows how to deal with her emotions and puts them into perspective. She knows that it’s okay to be vulnerable and weak. She knows that strength comes from these places. She knows that everything we feel should be acknowledged, even when it doesn’t need to be acted upon.

19. She knows that having balance in how you live your life is one of the most important keys to a successful, fulfilling life. Whether it’s work or play, she believes that she should put effort into her life, but never forget to also enjoy it.

20. She’s doesn’t believe in regrets. Not because she doesn’t think people should learn from their past – she absolutely does. But she knows that regrets have a tendency to keep people crippled in their past. And she definitely doesn’t believe in doing that.

21. Regardless of any bad days or funks she gets into, she never lets it permanently damage her outlook on life. She believes that hope and faith are always worth having, and that tomorrow can always be a better day. TC mark


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