December 1, 2016

Here Is Your Bullshit Horoscope For December 2016 Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

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ENFP

You’ve been feeling frantic over the past couple of months, but you cannot act your way out of your current situation. You have to allow yourself the time to slow down, reflect on your circumstances, re-center yourself, and then act. Otherwise, the same problems are going to keep popping up for you, again and again in different forms. Fix the wound this month, instead of lopping on yet another Band-Aid. Meditation is likely to come in particularly handy for you this December.

INFP

You’ve been struggling with impulse control lately, though not in the traditional sense. You’re prone to overdosing on thoughts, habits and obsessions. But instead of trying to nip your bad habits in the bud, slow down and take the time to become conscious of what’s driving those compulsive thoughts or behaviors. There’s a need somewhere inside of you that you are not addressing. And it will continue to drive your behavior in nonsensical ways until you finally face it head on.

INFJ

Lately you’ve been feeling out of sync with some of the people you’re closest to, and you can’t figure out why. The truth is, the person you’ve actually been out of sync with is yourself – and that internal dissonance is bleeding into your interpersonal relationships. Get back in touch with yourself by journaling out your thoughts, even when it feels like you have nothing to say. You might be surprised by what the pen and paper end up revealing to you.

ENFJ

You’re feeling wounded heading into December, but you have been adamantly ignoring the source of your pain. Stop. Give into it. Let the wound breathe. Recharge yourself by admitting your pain to those around you and offering the chance for collective healing. You’ll be shocked by how deeply those around you appreciate the gesture. You’re not the only one hiding inner hurt this month.

ENTP

You’ve been feeling overshadowed by the people around you this month, which has been a large source of frustration and anxiety. You feel unable to properly communicate your depth to others, which has left you lacking important connections. Chill. Stop searching for your self-worth in the external. Take the time to re-center and re-connect with yourself. Whatever you need to others, give to yourself. The rest of your relationships will flourish organically from there.

INTP

You’re feeling like a fish out of water lately. You’re trying to pick up a new skill but it isn’t coming naturally and you don’t have the time you want to get it right. This December, focus on channeling your creative side rather than your perfectionistic side. You have to let go a little bit in order to get this one right. The devil is in the details for you this month… but your saving grace will be your extroverted intuition.

ENTJ

You’re leading a double life this month. Your responsibilities lie in two different areas and you are being worn thin trying to prioritize properly. As counter-intuitive as it seems, ask for the input of someone close to you this month – you’ll be surprised at the perspective they’ll share and it will help you to reframe what’s important to you as you head into the new year.

INTJ

Lately you’ve been feeling inexplicably connected with someone who you don’t know very well. This feeling is not random or insignificant. Open yourself up to them and you’ll find the connection to be enriching, surprising and mutually growing. This person has shown up in your life at this time for a reason – they aren’t going to be scared off by your depth or complexity.

ESFP

You’re coming to terms with some parts of yourself you don’t love this month, and it’s easy to try to deflect the blame. Don’t. Sit with the feeling, give it validation, and then brainstorm ways to change your behavior moving forward. If you can’t come up with answers, turn your attention towards others. Consider what those around you need and harmonize with those needs in order to re-establish lost connections with those around you.

ISFP

The past and the future have been conflicting with one another lately and you feel torn between the life you once lead and the life you want to have next. Distance yourself a little from your closest loved ones in order to work through this conundrum – trust that you already have the answers you seek, you just have to listen closely to what your intuition is saying before you’ll be comfortable making any major decisions.

ESFJ

Your energy is high this month, as the future is brimming with possibilities. You’re ready to gun headfirst towards a new opportunity, but before doing so, stop and reflect on which course of action feels the most organic or natural to you. That is the one you will naturally excel at, and therefore the route you ought to follow – even if others promise a quicker or less risky path to success.

ISFJ

You’re feeling torn between past commitments and future opportunities this month. You’re afraid that fully embracing one will rob you of the other. But instead of trying to straddle both commitments full-time, be honest and upfront with others about your conflicting priorities. You’ll be met with an understanding that you do not expect, and a weight will be lifted from your shoulders.

ISTP

You’re feeling empowered this month, as your hard work is finally starting to pay off in the workplace. Enjoy the perks and opportunities that are allotted to you, but don’t forget to keep the hustle going. It’s not quite time to relax yet and you need to keep your eye on the prize.

ESTP

You’re feeling uncharacteristically nurturing towards the people in your life this month. For the first time in a long time you’re prioritizing others above yourself and it feels great – but you’re also a little restless. Blow off steam through physical activity or a favorite hobby. You have to keep your energy levels up in order to meet the demands of your current life.

ISTJ

Unexpected upsets to your physical or mental health have taken you down a peg in the past couple of months – but don’t be too hard on yourself. This is an opportunity to reconnect with what you need on a physical and emotional level – and if you’re able to listen to your body with diligence, you’ll bounce back even stronger than ever.

ESTJ

You’ve set down some major roots in the past several months and it’s causing you to feel a little restless. Get out of town for a weekend or a week to clear your head, have some fun, and remind yourself that you’re not stuck where you are. You’ll return with a refreshed mindset, a refreshed conscience and a refreshed commitment to the things you’ve dedicated yourself to throughout 2016. TC mark

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