December 1, 2016

Loving You Made Me Discover A Part Of Myself I Didn’t Know Existed

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You brought out a side of me I didn’t know existed because I barricaded it so far down. I like to think I wear my heart of my sleeve, but it’s only a part of my heart.

I wear the part that shows the world I have a heart, the part that cares about humanity and the well being of other humans, the part that cares about the environment and animals. The part that shows I’m not afraid to be vulnerable and I’m not afraid to be overly affectionate towards my friends and family.

The part I don’t show, the part I didn’t know I was capable of feeling is the side you uncovered.

I hide my heart from love; I always have after it was broken. I shield it under a thick layer because it makes me feel more secure that way. It’s made me show emotions towards everything except love because love scares the hell out of me.

Then you came along, you stripped the shield and broke down the layers that have become my home.

You made me feel things I didn’t know were possible; you made me finally realize why people go insane at the thought of losing the person they love. You made me understand why girls become possessive because the thought of losing you scares the hell out of me and I’ve never felt that way before.

I didn’t know I could miss someone who is still in front of me because I know you’re going to be heading home any minute. I didn’t know I could crave a person’s touch so badly. I didn’t know I could look at someone and have everything feel okay. I didn’t know I could hear someone’s voice and they’d make me forget my problems. I didn’t know I was capable of letting that emotion in my life because for so long I swore it off.

But you’re different.

With you things aren’t forced, there aren’t moments I’m telling myself to enjoy, but moments I can’t get enough of.

With you I don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing or embarrassing myself because we just seem to fit.

With you things are good, with you things are finally good.

You make me feel fireworks when we kiss, I still get butterflies in my stomach when you come to pick me up and waking up next to you is like a dream come true, every time.

You make me want to do things I usually cringe at. You make me want to post cute pictures together on Instagram. You make me want to hold hands as we walk down the street. You make me want to go on a weekend road trip getaway with just the two of us.

Without even realizing you’ve started chipping away at the walls I’ve built around my heart and you’ve finally revealed it. You finally made me feel what it’s like to love again and to not be afraid and for that I’m thankful.

I know there will be hard times ahead because there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but I’m prepared to face those battles with you. I’m ready to take this on together because you showed me you were in this for the long haul. TC mark

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