The Real Reasons I’m Not Texting You Back Right Now

Sep. 15, 2011

By Sari Moon info

Sari Moon is a graduate of NYU's journalism program. She has a part-time job as a librarian. Contact her at ...

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  • Texting me after 10 on a weeknight is a lost cause dude. I’m watching episodes of Seinfeld on my couch, in my sweatpants, eating pizza. I turned off Social Me like an hour ago, and once I turn it off for the night, it doesn’t come back on until tomorrow, midday at the earliest.
  • Because I might get laid tonight and I’m not going to mess it up by spending half my time texting my friends. I need to focus.
  • Because I’m not really into having full-on text conversations when I’m at a bar with friends. You should come if you want to. You’re invited. I’m not bored enough to have a veritable Gchat about your day right now. Let’s text IRL, with our faces.
  • I’m on a date and I’m actually interested in the conversation. Please stop texting me.
  • Ive gotten lke, too drunk to text, lol. I’m srry. Can’t raelly type, its 2 confuusing 4 em rihgt now. Brnch 2morow?
  • Because I’m getting tired of rejecting you. Please, for both our sakes, just stop trying. I know this is passive, and I’m sorry for that, but I’m pretty sure my signals are clear. The prelanguage of dating is not difficult to understand. Persistence is not helping you, and it’s starting to make me anxious.
  • I’m sleeping right now; the only thing I care about is continuing to sleep.
  • Somehow I’ve become so apathetic that it seems impossible to do anything other than watch conspiracy videos on YouTube and clips from the Colbert Report. I know seeing you would probably make me feel better but I like, can’t see anyone now. You wouldn’t understand.
  • I shouldn’t have agreed, initially, to going on a date with you. My bad. I understand that this is a completely shitty way to stand you up, but the truth is that your message somehow made me realize that a date with you isn’t a good idea at all. That it would actually suck. It’s nothing against you, really–I just should have thought it out before making plans.
  • I’m one of those people who gets cripplingly self-aware when I smoke weed, and I just smoked weed. Please leave me alone. I feel afraid of you. You don’t want to be around me right now, believe me. TC mark

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  • Christina A.

    “I turned off Social Me like an hour ago, and once I turn it off for the
    night, it doesn’t come back on until tomorrow, midday at the earliest.”

    This is absolutely correct.

  • Asdf

    So, rather than just come out and say, “I think it was a mistake agreeing to a date.” or “I’d rather not go out tonight, sorry.” You let someone stand around wondering what’s going on, and then don’t respond to their requests to help them figure it out? 

    Classy.

    • starz

      Agreed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    ***batteries are dead

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

    This shit got published?, part two.

  • Mashka

    If you don’t want to go on a date with someone just come up with some reason to cancel- still not fun for the other person but a million times classier and more dignified than just standing them up completely. 

  • Katt

    I’m actually in a class on Mobile Communication at this moment. We started off the class by talking about why people don’t respond to text messages. The reasons being, technological, social reasons. But furthermore, I think it brings us to the question, is it because of the technology that you don’t want to respond to the person? Or are you making the conscious decision to not respond despite the fact that you have to use your phone to respond?

  • Anonymous

    Hilarious. Story of my life, made me laugh – loved it.

  • Wdeanis

    Love this: “Let’s text IRL, with out faces”

    Also, I’ve started resenting the fact that I’m the guy who always answers his phone so sometimes I just don’t text back. What do you want in reply to that txt anyways? “K”?? No. I was at the gym for a couple of hours, forgot to alert my entire family, and fortune progression:

    Sister- “hey what time do you want to go to the bar tomorrow?”
    Sister- “hello??”
    Sister- “WTF dude just tell me if you’re ditching me”
    Mom- “Why are you mad at your sister?”
    Dad- “Stop ignoring your mom and sister, it doesn’t work- I’ve tried”

    ……….2 hours in the gym…………

  • http://twitter.com/RyaninAustralia Ryan Culliver

    “I’m one of those people who gets cripplingly self-aware when I smoke weed” I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS ALONE IN THIS! 

    • dip

      The have a name for that feeling I think…I forgot…

      • Thatgirl

        THE FEAR.

      • tha dish

        It’s called Paranoia.. and you’re not alone, friend!  Texting people stoned is so difficult, especially reading what you wrote after and analyzing it like that one word spelled wrong is going to haunt you forever. haha

  • https://twitter.com/iamthepuddles Jordana Bevan

    “Somehow I’ve become so apathetic that it seems impossible to do anything other than watch conspiracy videos on YouTube and clips from the Colbert Report. I know seeing you would probably make me feel better but I like, can’t see anyone now. You wouldn’t understand.”
    the last two months. sad face. emo face.

  • https://twitter.com/iamthepuddles Jordana Bevan

    “Somehow I’ve become so apathetic that it seems impossible to do anything other than watch conspiracy videos on YouTube and clips from the Colbert Report. I know seeing you would probably make me feel better but I like, can’t see anyone now. You wouldn’t understand.”
    the last two months. sad face. emo face.

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    All the dating-related ones rang true. And the sleeping, because that seems to be the time people are the most offended you haven’t answered.

  • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

    There should be one from a guy perspective.
    I like this, although the last ones about not letting a guy know you don’t want to talk anymore, im not sure i’d be able to do.

    • Federico

      “There should be one from a guy perspective” ??? LMAO
      What do you think number 6 is?
      It’s funny (and sad at the same time) how you think being rejected is only for guys…

  • Danielle G

    1) I love this “Let’s text IRL, with our faces.” 
    1.5) I’m so sick of not having face to face conversations. It is ruining our generation. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6IFPDSFKEQJE2ZPP3ASE35MRL4 Laura

    The last one about the weed? Story of my life. Technology is the scariest thing to look at or deal with when high. I would much rather crawl into a ball and watch episodes of Louie which will end up making me feel dizzy and weird. Anddd that is why I don’t smoke often.

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