16 Eye-Opening Truths You Need To Know In Your Twenties

1. Focus on experiences

In your twenties, your main task is to gain experiences. Travel, study, try different occupations, start your own creative project, meet new people, live fully. You’ll see later that every experience enriches you and you might use it in the future.

This is not the time to settle down yet, it’s the time to explore and find your place. By having experiences, you’ll get to know yourself better. You’ll learn what you like and what makes you unique.

2. Don’t rush it

On the other hand, don’t rush to the finish line. Everything will come in perfect timing when you’re truly ready for it, not when you think you are.

Perhaps you want to marry or have everything figured out, but this will come on its own later. You’re still metamorphosing into your “real adult life,” so take time to explore and be more playful with life.

3. Don’t be perfect

Trying to be perfect can break you and slow you down. But you don’t need to be perfect. Instead, be authentic and learn to be completely honest with yourself. This will grow you more than any form of perfection you may want to pursue. Life is a process. Give yourself permission to learn and grow. Perfection is static and weighs you down when you should only fly.

4. Don’t try to be like others

You don’t need to prove yourself to others. You don’t need to look like others or do things like them. Instead, keep it real with yourself.

Because if you try to be like others, you’ll eventually lose yourself. And then later, it’ll be harder to get it back. So focus solely on doing you. You can only shine when you follow the things that are real for you—things that ignite your heart.

5. Build up your worth

Your worth impacts everything. You can see it reflected in the way you look at yourself in the mirror. You see it mirrored in your friendships, your studies, and jobs, and in your relationships.

If you want to do one life-changing thing, then develop your self-worth.

Most people aren’t born with unshakable worth, but they build it up. When you start actively creating your life, and you begin to release your old conditioning, you slowly slip into a confident person. Focusing on your worth rather than on how others perceive you will significantly ease your life.

6. Focus on the relationship with yourself

The primary relationship you have is the one with yourself. Nothing can replace it, although there will be moments when you’ll try to fill the hole within you in the arms of others.

There will be times when you’ll lose yourself in others. But no matter which amazing relationships you have, never forget to honor yourself first. Check-in with yourself about how you feel and what you want. Spend quality time with yourself.

7. The first long-term guy is a replica of your parents

Yes, it sounds crazy, but it’s true. In 99% of cases, the first long-term relationship is there to serve your inner healing. It may not be the love of your life, but your partner is your greatest teacher who will hold up a mirror to what you need to let go of.

We choose our partners based on our parents. Your partner may trigger the same wounds that you’ve carried since childhood. It’s nothing personal, it’s the way the universe helps you to heal.

8. Don’t let relationships to sweep you

We all carry some romantic ideas about our other half. Some are more realistic than others. Ultimately, we seek a complete union with another person. Unconsciously, we want to merge with them and intertwine our souls.

But as beautiful as it sounds, you still need to maintain a sacred distance in relationships. Don’t let go of the beautiful aspects of you for somebody else. Don’t stop having your own hobbies and friends. Don’t start losing yourself.

9. Become independent

Independence helps to form healthy confidence and relationships. When you’re independent, you know that you can take care of yourself, and thus you don’t stay in a relationship only because of the fear of not making it on your own.

Being independent has many layers. It starts with forming your own opinions, speaking up, and ultimately building a stable core within yourself to withhold any storms. But your twenties are also the time to start being financially independent, paying off student loans, and making your own financial decisions.

10. Create a group of friends around you, even if you’re introverted

Having a group of people who understands you and holds a sacred space for you is crucial. As life challenges show up, you’ll have someone to offer you another perspective and to have a burst of good laughter with.

Choose your friends based on their maturity and inner stability. Short and intense friendships may teach you a lot, but those people won’t be there for you when life gives you lemons.

11. Find your signature look

It’s an unwritten rule that in your twenties, you should experiment with your looks. Nothing is taboo. Yet as you near the closing of this decade, you may want to have your signature look.

This look is something that accentuates your personality, but it’s also simple enough that you don’t need to spend extra time getting ready. You can count on this look when you go for job interviews, dates, or parties. It shouldn’t be overly complicated, but it should be something that brings out the grown-up inside of you.

12. Stop comparing yourself to others

You don’t need to be like others — you need to become your best self. The only person you should ever compete with is your past self. When you get too captivated by the lives and successes of others, you forget to concentrate on your life.

Instead of living too much in your head, build up your desired life. How other people live their lives has nothing to do with you. Their path isn’t yours, so stop spending your precious time and energy on worshiping them.

13. Start healing

Everyone has past wounds that form the idea of who they are. Your childhood and teenage times have taught you a lot, including negative patterns that you subconsciously carry with you into adulthood.

When you’re in your twenties, healing is a must. Otherwise, you copy the relationship of your parents in your own love life or you never start feeling good enough. Now is the time to do some serious inner searching and work to lay solid foundations for your future.

14. Rewrite your subconscious mind

Most of your thoughts don’t belong to you, and most of them don’t even serve you. Start noticing what your mind is telling you to be true and question everything that isn’t aligned with your goals.

And then trace back the origin of those subconscious equations of your mind and rewrite them. The mind is a perfect tool to serve your future expansion, but first, you need to learn how to make it work for you.

15. Don’t consume, create

Create. Create. Create. Creating is natural for you, and it keeps you young and juicy. Although you’re learning many new things, you should also spend time creating something that originates only from your mind and soul. You weren’t born to become a copy of somebody else. Others aren’t better than you. Therefore, it’s time to put them off the pedestal and start creating before consuming.

16. Don’t bond with others based on the shared pain

As you start healing, you’ll bond with people who carry similar pain as yours. In the beginning, it’ll help you to speak about it with someone who understands it. But those friendships soon become too consuming, and you both keep each other unhealed because being unhealed is the main thing that unites you together.

You don’t need to get extra impulses from emotional drama or keep solving someone’s life over again. Be aware of the people who just take but never evolve. Those will drag you down. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Sylvia Salow

I’m a spiritual life coach, TEDx speaker, and author. Embody Your Soul