Other than peeking at the website, I wanted to be completely in the dark when I got to the performance, and lo and behold, it was literally pitch black as I entered the abandoned warehouse on West 27th Street. The experience began at the receptionist area where my boyfriend and I were handed two playing cards, him the ten of spades, and I the jack of diamonds.
The Traveler just so happens to always be visiting that day and is in dire need of meeting up because he’s lonely or needs someone to show him the city, (sidenote: lonely is another code word for “lets get naked.”)
You know the drill. You meet; you fall in ‘like’. Maybe you develop a romantic history (drunk sex, a date, a dance floor pash), or maybe you just admire them from afar. You feel like if they were a pop star you’d put a poster of their face on your wall and blow it kisses before you fell asleep to dream about them all night. If you were in high school you’d write their name on all your folders and do love equations with both your names.
I thought only ugly people were murderers. Why are all of these hot men getting into it now? It used to be that if you picked a good-looking husband, you could pretty much guarantee he wouldn’t kill you. Not anymore though! God, is anything sacred?
This was not how it was supposed to work. I never set out to be half of that couple you hear about. The ones that because of high rents or long leases or the great dysfunction are forced to live with each other long after their relationship has expired. Yet here I am. Freshly twenty-seven and living with my ex-boyfriend.
There are several gradients of drunk that are possible. Numerous individuals will enter and continue their adult lives acquainted with only one item on the following list, and will report said item occurs predictably on every occasion on which they drink. The experience of other individuals will be generally comprised of two or more, but not all items on the following list.
Indeed, the two people in the Relationship for Show find each other almost by some self-organizing principal of reality, nature, society or culture; friends of the two are likely to affirm upon hearing of their newfound relationship, “oh, that makes sense,” or “heh, not surprised at all.”
While outward displays of masculinity, affability, confidence and power may be a regular part of the Insecure Boyfriend’s behavioral repertoire, the Insecure Boyfriend in fact has low self-confidence and extremely low self-esteem, both of which aggregate to produce a constant, needy second-guessing of his girlfriend’s love and loyalty to him and the belief that if she cheats on him he will have “deserved it” or it will have “made sense.”
Indeed, events such as these are simply happenstance, and for this, the Stressed Out Girlfriend induces a sort of torture on her partner in which her partner must either become upset with her for becoming upset with reality (this is not advised), or humor her and attempt to calmly mitigate the situation.
You’re so bored. It’s six p.m. and there is nothing good on T.V. so you want to have sex with someone. Depending on your situation, you will either have to seek it out like a hunter. You will go to the bars and zero in on your prey, or you will have sex with someone who is required to have sex with you i.e. your GF/BF.
In today’s collegiate world, being “pre-med” can mean several things to the dazed and confused undergraduate. I might be 90% wrong because I like to make radical, offensive generalizations — but here are a few ideas.
Hot people are overrated. Even they will admit it and say, “Yeah. I’m not that great but my face is awesome. Wanna look at it a little bit more?” Ugly guys, however, know what they’re working with. They know they have a face and/or body only a mother could love so they make the best of it by being great sexual partners.
On the most basic level, movies simply ask for a type of attentiveness that is hard to muster if you’re depressed. Cerebral films tend to have a lot of silences and moments where the spectator is encouraged to reflect on the images. That’s fine, but when you’re depressed, the only reflecting you’ll be doing is on various sad thoughts and anxieties floating around in your head.
Get accepted into a “competitive” fellowship or internship or entry level lobbying position, whatever. Think this is it: it’s only a matter of time before you are saving the world (or securing a “real” job). Look on Craigslist for an apartment…see the price of a one bedroom condo by the Capitol is $2700.00. Silently squeal to yourself.
The first few weeks of school will feel like summer camp. Everyone is just so open and ready to meet their future best friends. Leave your door open and play alternative music so people will know that someone cool lives there. Also develop a strategic plan with your clothes. Wear outfits that will convey to people what kind of stereotype you fall under.
His earliest appearance on the first season of Family Matters in 1989 was supposed to be a one-time cameo, but his performance was a hit, and he became the true star of the show. I recall as a child not even remembering that Family Matters was called Family Matters; I just told my parents that I wanted to watch “the Steve Urkel show.”
But back in the day, there wasn’t any of this “answer 1,000 nitpicky questions” and “linking to real-life-stuff in my dating profile, thus opening myself up to be Google’d at maximum” business. Online dating was like, get in chat and type “24/f/nyc.”
Popular themes for internet cat pictures suggest that the cat is perplexed by his/her environment; the cat is demanding of something in a regal fashion [cats may often be implied to be ‘overlords’ or ruling-class characters from science-fiction movies]; the cat is excited to have succeeded at something while remaining oblivious to the practicality of his/her accomplishment.